Month: April 2021

A night on the town with abusive behaviour, 17/04/21

Tonight I’ve had the misfortune to experience a tirade of homophobic, transphobic and drunken abusive behaviour from somebody on a night out in Manchester’s, Gay Village.

This was directed firstly at me, then my friends and also the gay community at large in the village in Manchester.

What happened?

Let me start by saying what actually happened to get to this point.

I am sat with some friends of mine outside one of the bars in Manchester and two of them had gone to the toilet leaving two empty seats at our table.

Along comes a man in his 30s who’s with 4 women.

He just comes over and sits at our table. No, “Are these chairs free?”. He just sits down!

We politely say to him that those seats were actually taken. His response was “I don’t fucking care that they’re taken I’m sitting here now”. He gestures for one of his party to sit on the other empty seat.

First of all these seats are already taken but secondly, there’s also a queue of other people waiting to sit down at this particular venue and he just turned up and sat down where he wanted to sit.

The abuse starts

He’s very drunk and when we asked him to move he became very abusive toward’s me and my friends.

I politely asked him again to move explaining the seats were taken by my friends who’d gone to the toilets. His response was ‘that’s their tough fucking luck because I’m going to sit here”.

He then spilt out a tirade of homophobic and transphobic abuse directed at my friend Antonio and myself and cast aspersions on our parentage and our sexual preferences.

Bring on the Door Staff

Bouncers engaged.

Yes, I went and got the bouncers. I’m not going to engage with this bellend when I know full well having a fight will more than likely get me reprimanded as well.

Also, when I’d gone to get them another member of his party had sat down on the seat I had vacated.

The door staff asked them nicely to leave and explained if they didn’t move bad things would occur.

They then lied to the door staff and said that he’d been sat there all night and the drinks on the table were theirs. She called their bluff and asked what they were. They didn’t know!

I’ve known the door staff at this particular venue for nearly 2 years and had been talking to them on and off all evening. He was asked nicely to leave again, which he did after the other two members of his party stood up, verbally abuse me and then walked off.

Hit the road Jack, and don’t you come back, no more, no more, no more!

His parting shot, as he was leaving was to threatening me time and time again, to which my response was “Whatever, you’re drunk. Go home” this seemed to make him angrier.

However, something happened which completely surprised me in a positive way.

As he walked past the customers at the next bar down lots of people jumped to my defence giving him and the others in his party lots of abuse, telling them to “piss off”, “go home dickhead”, “you’re an idiot”, “how dare you bring your attitudes down here”. While other people actually got up and herded the group down the street.

Others from the bar came over to our table and asked us if we were okay?

The police had also been called and about 20 minutes later came round to chat with us and said they had evicted this group from the village and had given them some advice on their actions this evening.

Community Love

Seeing some abuse this weekend hasn’t shocked me. To be honest I’d expected to see some but not have it directed as me. There were some very drunk people out in Manchester at weekend.

Loved the reaction and support from the village community. You folks are amazing and despite this slight blip, I’ve had an awesome weekend.

Night out in Manchester on 1st weekend after lockdown 

I went for a night out in Manchester on the first weekend after lockdown, on the 16th and 17th April. This is my recollection of the night out and what Manchester was like.

I wasn’t actually planning to go out on 16th of April but the events of the week transpired that I ended up working in Manchester on Friday morning I thought, what the hell let’s go and have a night out in Manchester.

It’s a little bit difficult to book hotel rooms at the moment as hotels are only supposed to be taking in key workers, but I booked into one of my regular hotels and when I turned up I went with a letter from my employer. Which is me! Hehehe.

So off I pop down to Manchester to do my work and by 11:30 I’m sat outside the New Union Hotel, with Gavin and Harry, on the outskirts of the gay village with a beer in my hand.

First thing I notice is, it’s really busy here. I walked down Canal Street to reach the New Union Hotel and most of the bars are preparing for opening time at 12 or they are already open and there are people sat outside.

The New Union is very busy and within about 5 minutes of sitting down there are no tables and chairs available. It’s not noon yet!

The atmosphere in the village in the morning is one of relief and happiness and everybody is enjoying the sunshine and the alcohol.

After a few hours we move further up Canal Street and try to get something to eat at Via, alas it’s bookings only despite only a few of the tables having people sat at them. Thankfully this policy didn’t last long.

At this time, about 2 p.m, lots of the bars on Canal Street already have the maximum capacity of people sat outside so, discretion being the better part of valour we decide to walk over to the city’s Northern quarter and see what’s going on over there.

Amazingly, the Northern quarter is much the same as the village with lots of the bars already close to capacity and we end up sat outside the Cane and Grain on Thomas Street for a little bit of food and a few more drinks.

Food is good, company is great and the atmosphere is fantastic. I’m speaking to lots of people i have never met before on neighbouring tables and also people walking down Thomas Street.

I return to my hotel about 4 p.m. to freshen up and get changed into something more suitable for a “night out” then head back to the village as I’m meeting some other friends at 5:30.

I meet my friends a Bar Pop and the place is jumping, well not literally because we’re all sat down, but there’s music playing and the staff are keeping the drinks flowing and the punters entertained. Theres also a somewhat carefree and happy vibe here which means everyone had a smile on their faces.

All the staff are doing their best to make sure that everybody is kept happy while maintaining social distancing while at the same time “being happy and gay”

We slowly make our way round to Centrestage which is our favourite bar in the village and we all agreed, that the atmosphere in the village is akin, dare I say it, to a pride weekend!

Yes, the atmosphere is that good and I think it’s just because it’s the first weekend that the village has been open since October and everybody’s there to meet friends, see people they haven’t seen for 5 months and have a good time.

Even though we’ve still got social distancing measures in place and everybody sat at tables.

Although we’re not supposed to we are socially interacting with the people sat around us and the staff.

I have a great evening with Sarah, and we only leave Centrestage when nearly all the tables around us have been tidied away. This is after we’ve spent half an hour sat with some of the serving staff who I have to applaud for the wonderful service throughout the evening and indeed the weekend, as I went out again on Saturday night.

Saturday was a little bit different in that there was many people in the village who where only interested in drinking as much as possible and causing trouble.

We had an incident at our table but by an large Saturday was a repeat of Friday.

Looking forward to the next big weekend and just hope the weather is a little bit warmer as although it was a great evening, I froze my ass off!

To pee or not to pee, that is the question?

To pee or not to pee that is the question? What do you do as a trans person when you need the toilet?

As a transwoman, I will always take the option of the female toilets over the male as outwardly I am female. For nearly 2 years I have lived my life as a female and therefore going into the male toilets is a backwards step IMHO.

However, there is an issue here that those seeking to affect change see us (transpeople) as some kind of sexual predator who shouldn’t be allowed to use public restrooms. This is and never has been the case for myself and all my trans friends. I just want to pee!

So, I have four choices when using the toilet in public places.

1. Use the women’s toilet and there maybe the potential to be shouted at. I have been verbally abused, by the older genereration.

2. Use the men’s toilet and risk having the shit kicked out if me. I have been physically threatened in a male toilet.

3. Use the disabled toilet if available. Easiest option.

4. Don’t pee! If you’ve got to go you need to go.

Whats prompted me to write this is the current rhetoric in the press and some extent in government to ban trans people from using the bathroom unless it is the bathroom they were assigned at birth. I’ve watched this move in the press/government for a while now and because of this rhetoric, I just don’t visit many places which don’t have unisex toilets as I have been abused in them in the past.

I have also written to my MP to put across my point of view and beg others to also do the same as the lobbyists are shouting very loudly at present.

So getting back to my point, to pee or not to pee, where to do it is the question?

Well I havent been in a mens toilet in a public place now since November 2019 and never will again. Outwardly I present as a female. I am on the pathway to gender re-assignment and I live my life as a woman. I know some people might say “Yes but genetically you’re still a man”. This maybe true but I share 50% of my DNA with a Banana, but that doesnt mean I am a Banana!!

I generally gravitate now to places with Unisex toilets as this removes the “What if” element of going to the toilet but otherwise, the women’s toilet all the way. The need to pee needs to be placated when I need to pee.

Disappointed at my Doctors

After my conversation with doctors on the 11/03/21, I’ve come to the conclusion that either my Doctor has forgot about me, I am not worthy of their time or their hands are tied somewhere along the lines and can’t help me.

Over a month ago I had a conversation with them about using private services, going private, and the Doctor I spoke to at my surgery said to me that they wouldn’t help or rather didn’t want me to use the services I mentioned and would rather I use the NHS Gender Identity Clinic.

We discussed the waiting times for this service and also the 18 weeks Pathway to Services policy Apparently this NHS promise doesn’t seem to apply to Gender Identity Clinic services, so my doctors said they would look at alternatives and then come back to me in a week or two with either an alternative or to discuss this further.

This was after another doctor at the same practice has said they couldn’t see a problem with helping if I went private.

One says one thing, one says another! Gah!

Apparently my choice of service is not acceptable to the doctor’s practise but this doesn’t make it okay for the NHS to dismiss it, even though it is my choice to pay for these services. Their non alternative of me waiting 44 months is perfectly fine for them it seems!

When discussing this the Doctors surgery even stated that the owners of one of the services I wanted to use had been “struck off” by the General Medical Council because one of their patients killed themselves. **

Not exactly true, the owners were suspended, and in doing so the GMC plunged some 1600 of their clients into a world of non-prescription issues by doing this. Yes, the General Medical Council left 1600 people without medication in a heart beat! – See more: GMC once again fails to protect the safety of trans patients

The past month has just confirmed to me that again the NHS either don’t care about Transgender people or aren’t making things simple and in doing so, I feel the NHS has let me down. Their mantra is, yes we have a policy which says 18 weeks but gender identity services don’t apply so you will have to wait, and wait a very long time.

Add to this, my doctors do not seem to have the professional courtesy (I’m sure their really busy) to return calls to their clients and I question how much they value the lives, illnesses, and/or conditions of their clients.

This, by the way, its not the first time this surgery has not returned my calls, see this article regarding my gender clinic referral. If I hadn’t intervened in this matter then my referral would more than likely have lapsed.

Now its a month later, 15/04/2021, and I’ve heard nothing other than a text a week later, 18/03/21, to say she would contact me within a week. that’s 4 weeks ago.

Am I being impatient? No. I am thinking about me and that’s why I’ve still proceeded down the private road alone.

I know what you’re thinking and, yes I have called the surgery to ask about what’s going on and I’m told that, “Its being looked into!” but, still nothing, so I question what’s being looked into? “You’ll have to wait”. Sigh!

This has truly felt like I am banging my head against a brick wall and that either my doctors hands are tied or they didn’t want to help in this scenario. Its almost like if they ignore me for long enough, I’ll go away!

Now, because of this, I am now embarking on a purely private journey and I won’t involve my GP’s or the NHS again other than to facilitate any private services.

I am also now seeking an alternative doctor’s surgery. I have no confidence in my current Doctor’s surgery which is a shame as one of the doctors I’ve been dealing with has been a joy to talk to.

If you know of any trans-friendly doctors’ surgeries in the East Cheshire/North Staffs area, then let me know.

To say I am disappointed in the surgery would be an under statement but alas the practice in general is lacking and the common mantra seems to be “we are dealing with covid!”

Onwards and upwards in my life and on to better things. I won’t let “gatekeepers” stop me moving forward and if a gate is locked I will seek an alternative gatekeeper or even an alternative gate.

** The circumstances surrounding the death of this person are awful and they resorted to Gender GP after years of mis-management and mis-treatment under the NHS. However, everyone points the finger of fault of the Gender GP. No one seems to understand that because after years of neglect by the NHS, this person was desperate to get help from other parties. Then suddenly its the third parties fault. Maybe if the NHS was better this wouldn’t have happened? I’d point a finger in the direction of the NHS but of the articles i’ve read in the national press paint the NHS as whiter than white and private gender clinics get a battering in the press at large.

Update: 1st May and I am still waiting on a call back from.said doctors.

D day, starting hormones

Today is a milestone. Today is my D day. Today is the day that I start taking feminising hormones. Today is the day I start on hrt (hormone replacement therapy).

I received my prescription from Gender GP last week but because I’ve been running round like a blue arsed fly over the past week, sorting out computer, WiFi and broadband issues for customers reopening, I only managed to collect my drugs yesterday.

There was also a delay in getting my prescription filled as I had to wait for one of the drugs to be ordered. It’s not a stock item. Even now I still don’t have everything I need because it’s on back order.

Order collected. Thank you, Assura Chemist, Macclesfield. Now sat reading the instructions.

After reading all be instructions on how to use the drugs, today will be the first official day taking female hormones.

I know she me might say the 13th is unlucky but I’m not superstitious. It’s just another day and every month has a 13th day!

The drugs I have been provided are Estradiol, which is in a gel form and is rubbed onto the skin and Synarel, which is taken as a nasal spray.

I’ve done lots of research about the drugs that I have been provided and i’ve also researched the side effects plus what to expect while using them.

I’ve also had to rearrange my finances to pay for these drugs but I see that this is a small price to pay considering the alternative is waiting over 4 years to speak to the Gender Identity clinic and this is just to speak to the consultant.

Yes, I’m very excited about this part of my life journey but I am also a little bit sad. Not sad that i’ve had to go down the route I have, but sad because i’ve had to do this on my own with no support from my own doctors and the NHS in general.

So, today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Onwards and upwards.

Amazon Wish List

Hey, my lovely followers. Below is my Amazon Wish list. A list of things i’ve found while surfing the world of Amazon.

If you’d like to purchase any of these items i’d be grateful and if clothing or shoes, pictures will be forthcoming. In private at first and then on my website.

View my Amazon Wish List

Captain Sir Tom Moore mural by Akse-p19

Captain Sir Tom Moore mural by Akse-p19

I must say I personally think the Captain Sir Tom MooreCaptain Sir Tom Moore mural is one of the best things I’ve seen sprayed on a wall in Manchester and there are some pretty amazing images around the city and the Northern Quarter.

Painted by Akse-p19 on the corner of Tib Street and Thomas/Hilton Street the quality and detail in this painting is quite frankly amazing.

I must admit to standing and looking at the Captain Sir Tom Moore mural for sometime and watching the reaction of those who walked and drove by. It was drawing quite a crowd on the Thursday I was there.

Akse, sir. I doth my cap to you as this is a work of art.

Location Map

Photo date: 1st April 2021

Photography copyright: Mikki Tiamo

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