Month: August 2021

New Haircut done by Hair by Felix

It’s new haircut time so yes, I admit it I haven’t been to the hairdressers for rather a long time and I’ve also abused my hair over the past 2 years.

The last time I tried to goto the hairdressers they phoned me on the morning of my appointment to tell me I needed a patch test and they couldn’t cut or colour my hair. Very unprofessional of these hairdressers and I told them so as I was going on holiday the day after and because of no path test they wouldn’t do my hair for another week!

Anyway, this kind of set the scene for the next two years and despite meaning to go and my hair cut I’ve never gotten round to it.

Queue friends telling me about Hair by Felix in Macclesfield and me meeting Felix on numerous occasions on business.

I organise an appointment and turn up as arranged.

Before I’ve even sat down there’s a coffee on the go. How’s that for service?

We discuss my hair and because I’ve dyed the hell out of it it’s not one colour anymore and I’m shown just how there are multiple colours at various levels in my hair. These are akin to rings in a tree or more like sins of a bottle of hair bleach by yours truly!

Felix suggests a neutral colour and some highlights to break up the different colours.

I spend a very pleasant few hours having my hair dyed then cut and washed and blow-dried.

Now what a difference.

My hair feels much lighter as it’s been layered. it hangs better on my head and it looks amazing. Its almost one colour but because of my own abuse it needs a few sessions to get sorted.

I am well happy and cant recommend Hair by Felix enough.

Check out the before and after shows of the back of my head taken by Felix.

Thank You Felix <3

NHS Covid Pass

Yet again it’s dealing with the NHS time and yet again I’ve ended up with the sourest of tastes in my mouth as dealing with the NHS bureaucracy always leaves me feeling like I’ve done or am about to do something wrong!

I’ve been trying to set up the NHS Covid pass so I can visit specific events over the Bank Holiday weekend and a few more events in September and October. Events where you have to show your Covid status.

Now the only way to do this is to show your Covid status using the NHS’s app as text messages saying you’ve had Covid or messages that you can show a negative test will only be done through the NHS app.

So I log in, enter all my details into the NHS app and because my Doctors or the NHS themselves haven’t updated my name, despite being told, emailed, and written to, they continue to call me by my dead name and the NHS still has my dead name in there. So, I register and put in my name, date of birth, and NHS number, and immediately the NHS app asks me “Is this you?” showing my dead name!

Gah! Bastards!!!! (and I did write another word first)

In the end, I have to register in my dead name to use their silly little Covid app so I can attend events!

This is so fucked up!

If anyone asks for my ID I show them my name and if anyone looks at my Covid passport it shows my dead name.


Everyone tells me how great the NHS is and what wonderful service they provide but yet again, inaction, ineptitude, or laziness leaves me feeling bad.

Its Manchester Pride Baby! Yeah. 26th August to 31st August

Hell, yeah! It’s Manchester Pride weekend this August Bank Holiday weekend.

Starting tonight, the 26th of August, Manchester Pride is go!

I can’t wait as I really missed Manchester Pride in 2020  because of Coronabollocks so this weekend I’m gonna party, hair down, inhibitions left at home, and dancing shoes on.

Plus because I missed out on my 50th last year. I will be celebrating my 50th this weekend as well.

Can’t wait to show off my new dresses and shoes. See my friends and many of the lovely people who work in the village, get pissed and maybe shagged!

Pride weekend baby, Hell Yeah!

Here are a few photos from the weekend. I didn’t take many as there’s only so many shots you can take of a massive crowd of people heads and on Sunday and Monday I left my main phone at home and used the little android phone I have which I wouldn’t have given a shite about if I’d lost it but the camera is crap on it!

The weekend was absolutely amazing and I stayed mainly in the gay village as I wasn’t dressed to walk the distance to the outer ring events.

I met lots of people I haven’t seen for a long time, talked until I was horse, hugged what felt like the entire population of the northwest, and also snogged to many people to now not understand how I don’t have at least one Covid Variant! (Mind you I’ve already had it twice beforehand).

Well organised events by many of the Bars and I doth my cap to Centrestage, New York New York, Bar Pop and The Rembrant where we spent most of our time when the music outside stopped.

Friday night I don’t remember what time I got back to the hotel.

Saturday night, I think 3 am?

Sunday night, It was getting light!

Shouts out to Jane <3, Gavyn :P, Lesley, Anne, Wendy, Stu, Kevin, Sidney, Antionio, Joselph, Ben, Shahida (you are one wierd lady), and many more.

You guys made the weekend and I love you all so much.

Inconsiderate Fucks

I am all for everyone doing their own thing in life, but I also can’t stand those inconsiderate fucks who do what they want just to piss everyone else off or even to the point where those around them actually want to put a pair of scissors through their head.

Yes, folks, I’m talking about those people who are so concerned about their own lives that they really don’t give a shit about those around them!


Parking the family tank, 4×4, on a zebra crossing because you’re an inconsiderate fuck who can’t be arsed walking 10 yards to buy cigarettes!

Leaving said urban tank with the engine running for 20 minutes while I run my errands. “It’s okay my kids are in the car!”

Shouting/arguing with your equally inconsiderate partner at 4 am while playing music at stupid volumes.

About motorbike owners revving their Ichifanny 500 at 7 am on Sunday morning because they’re warming it up. That’s hopefully so they can go wrap it and yourself round a tree somewhere!

Letting your dog bark all night then shouting abuse at other neighbors whose dog deems to bark after 10 am!

Practicing guitar at 2:30 am with your amp turned up to 11!

Living in an apartment block and everyone calling you a cunt behind your back because everything you do pisses everyone else off!

Walking down the street looking at your mobile phone and expecting everyone else to move out of your way


Inconsiderate fucks!

How did you start your transition?

One of the things people ask me time and time again is, “how did you start your transition?” So, here’s my story on admitting to yourself, this is who I am and why it was really important to me.

Personally, I have known pretty much all my life that I am mentally a woman but it took lots of sessions with a Psychotherapist for someone else to say, “You are transgender”.

It then took me more time and a lot of internal soul searching and decision making to further say “before you can move forward in life you need to not only accept this and then decide what you wish to do with the information presented to you”.

It took me rather a long time to actually say to myself. “This is who I am” and “This is who I want to be in my life”.

I sat and thought about my diagnosis and it was good to remember that there has been a lot of things in my life which you could say were over compensations for “wanting to be more manly”.

Mainly macho things to prove I was more of a man because at the back of my mind all the time there was this desire to behave, dress, and present as a woman. Sometimes a strong desire and other times less.

I think about some of the things I did in my late teens and these really were “I’m a man” moments. Things like jumping off the highest cliff faces, first of all locally, then in places like the Vivian Quarry in Llanberis. Swimming across open sea bays, climbing Snowdon numerous times in a day, riding motorbikes at ludicrous speeds, and taking risks driving cars to the extreme. Yes, they brought me short-term blokish feelings but this was always short-lived. I wasn’t an adrenaline junkie as all the times I did these things I was always scared in the back of my mind.

I grew up in a very female-orientated environment with a large number of female cousins, aunties, and extended female family. It also wasn’t unusual to be left with groups of female cousins when I was younger and we played dress-up and make-up quite a lot.

In my early teens, I was told to stop all that as they were girls’ things and not boy’s things. I stopped publically but behind the scenes, I continued to dress and practice makeup until I was in my late teens when I moved into my first flat on my own and I dressed feminine when I was at home. Even pretending to be out when my parents turned up at my flat as there was no way I could get changed in such a short time.

Thankfully I never gave them a key and them turning up unannounced did send a shock wave down my spine.

In hindsight, I wish I’d answered that door on that day and possibly started my transition earlier.

I met someone in 1989, I had known her for quite some time before this and very quickly we started a relationship and I told her about my crossdressing. She said she thought it was a bit weird and didn’t want me to do that. I went out with her for 3 years and I didn’t dress anymore but it did cause me mental issues as I did have anxiety and sometimes I really struggled with this. In 1992 I watched her die and this put me into a tailspin for many years with alcohol and food abuse I ballooned in weight and almost became alcohol dependant! Dealing with death and my own mentality really screwed me up. Dealing with depression made things worse until a friend of mine said to me “If you don’t stop doing this you’re going to die and I don’t want you to die”

I stopped gradually, lost weight, and sorted my life out but the need to dress and act was always there.

In 1997 I met a wonderful woman and we married in 1999. I won’t go into details of this but for the first 10 years, we had a great life.

But I started to get feelings again that there was something wrong with me and in 2009 I spiraled into anxiety and despair. I spoke to my doctors at this time but I might have well as sat in the car park and talked to a brick wall. I’d like to say things have changed but alas in 2021 it’s still like banging your head against a brick wall.

At this time my wife went to visit her parents for a time and during this period I was able to dress as I wanted and this helped me immensely. Something I was able to do over the next 6 years on a regular basis.

My marriage drew to an end, not because of me being trans or crossdressing.

After nearly 18 months of therapy, I received a diagnosis that I was Transgender.

After being handed this information I struggled to digest it for quite some time wondering what to do next with this information.

Part of me was relieved, part of me was excited and part of me was confused. It was several months before I actually sought help again to deal with dealing with my diagnosis.

Again I paid for this as mental health services are almost as bad on the NHS as they are for Transgender services.

My doctor turned into a necromancer and wanted to fill me with pills and potions, because of this I decided to seek medical help myself and spent hours trawling the internet, Facebook support groups, and talking to other trans people before I sought the help of a trans specialist.

However, the best support and help came from my friends who were willing to listen, and offer advice if possible.

As 2019 came to a close and 2020 started I started to dress more and identify more as a woman. I chose to dress as a woman in public and with the help of the people of the Gay Village in Manchester, my friends, and others in the trans community I transitioned and by February 2020 was identifying fully as female and by April of 2020 all my friends, customers and acquaintances knew about my transition.

Since April 2020 I have identified as a Woman and I am so much happier and my life has been enriched by doing this. I’ve fully embraced who I am now. It has been said to me by customers, that they actually like me coming round and before my transition had been thinking of replacing me. Mainly, because they never knew what they were going to get before. Happy or sad. depressed or agitated! Because of my transition, I now have a better relationship with many of my customers.

So what does this all feel like?

Well, this is hard to describe so I’m going to use an analogy. Imagine you’ve been playing a video game for years and you’ve been walking around collecting endless items then you walk through a door and suddenly all those items turn into powerups, your character turns from a depressed arsehole into a princess and the game suddenly gets better.

My life is very different from my past life, but my new life is one where there is much merriment, lots of friends, and most of all someone who is happy.

Sure I have wobbles every now and then but they are normally caused by external forces like dealing with the NHS.

I am happy in my life, I’m happy with my life, I’m happy I am Mikki

Your ill? Oh, its not Covid! How disappointing!

Ring ring. Hello Doctors Surgery!

Hi, I’m ill can you help me?

Had you had a valid Covid test in the past 5 days?

Er, No!

Well before we can help you, you need to have a valid Covid test to prove you don’t have Covid!

So let me understand this? Let’s say I’ve metaphorically got a blood-sucking parasite hanging off my face and you’d like me to pop down to your local friendly Covid testing center to make sure said blood-sucking parasite isn’t Covid?

Tsk, You need a valid test before we can help you.

Okay, so if I get a result today, can I phone back or will I have to pretend I’m not ill and phone back on Monday?

If you get a result today, call back.


So, I drag my very ill carcass down to the local testing center and get a test. 3 hours later I have the Covid results.

It’s negative.

I phone my doctors back and only on confirmation of my negative test do they actually want to listen to how ill I am.



Its happened again

It’s happened again. I start a relationship with someone and they declare their undying love for me, for what I am, for my lifestyle and then within a few weeks want me to change to something they want me to be.

Why?! Why does this keep happening?

Is it ME?

Is it that the people I’m with don’t want me for me?

Is it because I keep finding people who aren’t looking for me?

Is it that I keep finding people who like me but want me to be what they want?

I know it’s not me as I’ve had some great relationships over the past 2 years but I wish people would accept me for what I am and not try to turn me into something else.

It starts with the words, “I wish you were more like this/her/a person”.

And it usually ends with me pushing them away or them telling me “You’re not what I’m looking for!”


Obnoxious about my transition

I met a friends ex-wife today and at first she didn’t recognise me at all but then she worked out, after 30 minutes, who I used to be and was quite obnoxious about my transition and started to ask some very personal questions.

She then wondered why I got quite defensive in my replies until I said “that’s not important to my life anymore, Why’s it important to yours? Why do you think you’ve got a right to ask me about my sexuality in that manner?”

“What I choose to do with my own body is no one else’s concern, let alone someone who’s invited herself over to sit at my table?”

She then got all offended, “I only asked a question!” and I actually told her to f off. Which made my other friends very uncomfortable.

The fact none of us wanted to speak to her in the first place, says what a nice person she is, but because she invited herself over and sat down at our table this was made clear to her.

I get that some people are curious but don’t be asking personal, impertinent questions which you know will either be offensive or at the very least cause upset, especially when if I asked you the same questions you’d be annoyed about it.

She took the huff and walked off which I got a big of grief for from my other friends, but she deserved that as she was so rude.

I explained why I’d gotten annoyed which my friends understood.

Apparently, she’s messaged one of my friends later to ask what my problem is!

My friend has told her she was bang out of order and had no right asking me what she asked.


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