If you are transgender then coming out as trans to your family is one of the hardest things that you will have to cope with on your journey.

Of course, this is second only to dealing with the medical & governmental professions!

I’m writing this so that others who are approaching the subject with their family have some kind of reference point. Maybe a what they can expect and how mine and others families have dealt with this.

One of the most difficult things I found about my transition so far is coming out as trans to family, and dealing with how they treat you, as well as there thought processes about your transition.

Ultimately, only you know your family but I hope this helps someone, somewhere.

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Coming out as trans to your family – Planning

Plan #1 – What to say?

You need to think about this because its not as simple as saying, “I’m trans”

Imagine, “Hi, I’m Trans!”

I know some people have done and because of their family its either gone down well or like a lead balloon.

Maybe something softer might be better such as, “Hello Mum/Dad/Brother/Sister. There’s something you need to know, I’ve got something to tell you which is really important to me. I’m Transgender and have always felt this way!”

Even if it was that simple then you need to think about what is going to happen after you’ve said that to your parents/family.

They will have questions, lots of questions. Like “Why?”, “What’s that mean?”, “Are you gay?”

You need to be prepared as there will be questions, after you’ve told them, in the time shortly after you’ve told them and for a long time afterwards.

I am asked questions even now by friends and family, after almost four years, because they have heard or seen something which they need or cant find an answer to.

It will be a learning curve for everyone involved. Not just you!

Plan what you want to say and be prepared for questions.

I can’t tell you what to say, but your conversation needs to explain your feelings, how you’ve felt through your life, how you feel now, your mental attitude, why you need be who you are/to do this, why you need to be the real you and your feelings.

I cant express how important these things are as ultimately this is your life and it will help others understand!

 

Before you start, Plan #2 – is it safe?

Before you start there is something you need to think about and that’s, “What is the worst thing that can happen?”

I’ve added this because if you rely on your parents, for living or financial support, and if things go wrong can you actually survive without them?

If the answer to this is no, then by telling them you might make things worse for yourself not better. Sorry if that’s a major bummer!

We all want to live our best lives but if by “coming out” puts you in mortal or financial danger then please don’t do it.

Remember that your parents and family will have different social, religious, political and emotional thoughts and views if they are from a different generation.

I know of people who have come out to their parent to be physically ejected from their parent house in just the clothes on their backs!

Having said this before, I’ll say quite, you know your parent better than anyone else!

A few things to think about.

• Do you do this in person, or over the phone/email/shout it off a mountain top!
• What is their reaction likely to be?
• Will they understand what you are telling them?
• Will they be angry/mad/sad/upset/happy?
• Will they be able to process what you have told them? (is this good or bad news to them?)
• How will they take such news that their son or daughter want to change gender?
• Will they understand that you want to change gender? (and what involved in doing this?)
• What will they think about you changing gender? (religious/political/societal beliefs?)
• Will they understand the implications for you, in doing this? (Name change, hormones, dealing with medical and legal professions?)
• Will they understand the implications for you, if you don’t do this? (Depression, Gender Dysphoria)
• Will they understand the implications for themselves? (with what they are likely to face from their friends, other family, society in general?)
• Will they understand how society will treat you and them? (good, bad and indifferent)
• Will they be supportive? (think hard about this one!)
• The probability of you being excommunicated? (cut off from your family)

Sorry, if any of that sounded negative, its not means to be. I don’t want to see anyone out on the streets, cut off or worse because of bad timing or your families reactions.

This brings me onto…

 

Plan #3 – I can’t verbally tell them

For some people it might not be possible, safe or even a good idea to tell parents, friends and family in person.

You might want to write a letter or send an email.

A letter is more personal, especially if its written.

An email is quite impersonal if you ask me, but for some people it might be the only way.

Personally, I did tell my acquaintances via the medium of Facebook. Which I know isn’t exactly personal but I recorded a short video, about 2 minutes long and explained my feelings and then put it on Facebook with the privacy settings set to, Friends. I got over 400 people comment which was 90% of my Facebook friends.

 

Plan #4 – The right time

When is the right time?

There is never a perfect time and picking the right time is going to make things easier for you and your parents because of all the things listed above.

My perfect time was now, but being financially secure and of sound of mind, I took the decision, to do it now.

That and the fact that my phone calls to try to explain this were either dismissed or not understood.

Because of not choosing the right time, some of my friends have had to remove themselves from bad situations. They have since had to completely walked away from family to live life as they want. Others have had to rebuild relationships because the time wasn’t right for their family.

You will know when the time is right but be careful my lovelies, I would not want you to put yourself into a situation where your life or wellbeing is in danger!

If you think your parents will be supportive then I wish you well, if you think your parent will be extremely negative then have a backup plan in place or excommunicate yourself from family life before you live your best life.

I can’t tell you when the right time is but you will know when the time is right for you.

Good Luck!

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How hard is it to tell your parents/family you’re transgender?

First of all let’s discuss the process of dealing with your family and actually telling them this is who you are, and that you are transgender. Then let’s talk about their reaction to what you just told them.

I am sure that some people think that I’m in the enviable position that my family are quite liberal, not religious, and have some semblance of self thought.

I did struggle to tell my parents, as I did feel a massive amount of anxiety and panic about how were they would react when I came out to them as transgender.

I am sure you must be going through this now if you are reading this article?

Its not an easy thing to sit down in front of someone, especially parents, and tell them that you are someone different to what they see.

While I don’t have a magic wand as to how to tell your parents/family that you are trans. Just because you know your parents better than I.

Irrespective of how you think they will respond you either tell them and face the consequences or be prepared to not tell them and either they find out from other sources or if you know the reaction is going to be negative, don’t tell them and cut them out of your life. This is a sad state if this is the case!

One would imagine that if you already have a negative relationship with your parents then this will probably be easier than dealing with their reaction. They may class what you are telling them as bad, negative or unacceptable.

Friends of mine have ejected their parents out of their lives because they have religious or societal ideologies which means your existence is an abomination in their eyes. Sad but true!

No one said it was going to be easy!

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Coming out as trans to your family: My story

My Mother

This was perhaps the hardest one for me, and I know from experience of speaking to others that this has been very difficult for many.

This is because most of us are closest to our mothers than other family members, and they see us differently to others as they ultimately gave birth to us.

One of the things I’ve heard from a few mothers, my own included and those of trans friends, is that they will always see you as their baby boy or girl. Irrespective of what you are now or want to become!

Here lies one of the problems. Unless you’ve been the very opposite of your birth sex all your life. Feminine male or masculine female.

This mindset of the mother is across a range of ages, as I have trans friends in their 60s, down to their teens.

For me its taken over 3 and a 1/2 years for my mum to see me as something else and its only recently that I’ve been able to sit down with mum, and have a long talk about things like pronouns, and how she should speak about me. Especially in the third person, but let me tell you about the process it’s taken me to get to this point.

When I first told my mum she was very reluctant to listen to what I had to say and would not acknowledge that I was who I told her,. This however was me trying to explain over the phone, which I know is not the most ideal thing to do.

Realising that a phone conversation wouldn’t do and that I needed to tell my parents in person I gave up on the phone and actually drove the 1.5 hours to my parents house and presented myself to my parents. Best frock and makeup done to a tee.

On arriving at their house, I was initially met by my dad who got what I’d been trying to tell them for 3 months and immediately gave me a big hug and asked me if I was happy. My mum on the other hand burst into tiers and even after sitting with her and talking to her for over 5 hours, was still in tiers!

She even told me, “Its a passing phase and you’ll get over it”, “I’ve lost my son” and “I don’t understand”, “Why?” and “But WHY?”

The next 12 months were hard as my mum struggled to see me as myself and initially treated me slightly different and the subject always got back to me as my old self. This was compounded when my father died in early 2020 as he really was a buffer between myself and my mum.

During the time after my dad died she did misname me again and again and I spent over 2 years correcting her but she really couldn’t understand my pronouns.

Fine, you don’t need to understand my pronouns but you need to understand that you need to refer to me differently when you talk to others about me.

Its only in the last 6 months that she has began to see me as who I have always wanted to be and used the correct pronouns but she still refers to me as “my son” when in conversation with other people. Which really began to mess with my head and if I’m honest, I started to get angry at her.

Only in the past few weeks has she made an attempt to refer to me as “Mikki” or “my daughter”.

This is massive progress!

We had a very long chat about this and whist I have no desire to upset my mum, by the same thought process I also don’t want to feel awkward in her company and have asked her to refer to me as “Mikki” when she refers to me if she cant remember the correct pronouns.

Its not 100%, but it is progress.

Of course this is just my experience and other people may have had different experiences towards coming out as trans.

I know I am lucky that my mum is still speaking to me as I know others have experienced scenarios such as being completely cut off by their parents when they have come out to them.

Even to the point where some of my friends have been removed completely from their parents lives, or they have had to remove themselves from their parent lives.

Its not uncommon for parents to be unsupportive if they don’t accept or understand about your transition.

Their beliefs in a certain deity, political views or belief in what the media says about transgender people have forced this.

On the flip side, I have friends whose parents who have been nothing short of amazing, super human like, and not only tried to understand but gone out of their way to provide love and support. Some of the parents of my younger trans friends have even attended the support groups I attend, just so their parents can further understand what they’re going through and help.

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Brothers and sisters

Again, only you know your brothers and sisters.

I felt bad about only one thing when telling my brothers and sisters. That’s that due to their reaction, I will probably never see my nephews and nieces again while they are under the control of my siblings.

Alas sad, but I can live with this.

A “Screw them, they can do one” mentality I know. Unfortunately, their reaction was that I was some kind of sexual pervert because they believe the media BS. As transgender people we know that this is bullshit, we are not sexual predators and no threat to their kids! Statistically, children are more likely to be abused by their own parents than a Transgender relative.

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The wider family

I don’t have any remaining grandparents. My last grandparent died about 15 years ago.

My fathers mother would have no doubt accepted me for who I am as she loved me and would have accepted me for what I want to be. She was a very loving, understanding person.

My mums mother wouldn’t have understood, just because of her deep seated beliefs and her inability to deal with “not normal”. Ironically I think her late husband would have accepted and helped me as he saw nothing but joy, even in my grandma!

I’m going to be brutally honest about the rest of my family, again your experiences will be different, but any adverse reaction should be treated in much the same way and that “its my life. My life”

This has been mine!

Some of my uncles, aunts and cousins have been negative. Some have been understanding/tried to understand/been supportive. Those that haven’t been, well, bye.

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Friends

This for me my friends have been my godsend.

I have absolutely amazing friends and almost all of them have been so, so supportive and understanding and many have even taken time to go and research what I am going through of their own accord because they didn’t understand.

I’ve sat and talked to many of them not because I want to talk about my transition but because they want to know, help and support me!

My closest friends have been amazing and now most do not even see me for the person I once was but as the person I now am.

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Conclusion

How your family react to what you tell them is ultimately not going to be the same as my families reaction.

I wish you luck. I hope you have a positive response.

Good luck.

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LGBTQ+ and Transgender Support organisations

This is not an exhaustive list but many of these organisations deal directly with LGBTQ+ issues and family issues.

 

Samaritans – https://www.samaritans.org/
Samaritans are open 24/7 for anyone who needs to talk.
Call : 116 123

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Switchboard –  https://switchboard.lgbt/
Listening services, information and support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.
Call :  0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day)

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Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (FFLAG) – https://www.fflag.org.uk/
Offers support to parents, friends and family members of those who identify as LGBT+
Call : 0300 688 0368 (All calls charged at local rate)

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LGBT Foundation – https://lgbt.foundation/
Advice, support and information for people identifying as LGBTQ+.
Call : 0345 3 30 30 30

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Mermaids – https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/
Supports gender-diverse young people aged 19 and under, and their families and carers. Offers a helpline and and webchat.
Call : 0808 801 0400

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Last night I got absolutely trashed and today I have a hang over I just can’t look at myself in the mirror again! It’s going to be a dysphoria day.

I’m looking really bad this morning as I’m sure I cried myself to sleep again last night.

I have puffy eyes and their bright red. The pile of tissues beside my bed would be a massive indicator of weeping before bedtime.

I think I need to go get help!

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When I awoke and looked in the mirror
The picture is see, makes me shiver
Blood shot eyes, with bags underneath
I turn away, don’t want to see
As the picture I view, this morn isn’t me
Fill up the sink, and stare at this face
Not loving this look, look past into space
Plunge my face in the water, hold for awhile
A few more times, the feel of the water makes me smile
Look in the mirror, what can I see
Something that slowly resembles, the real me
I clean and scrub, the remnants of last night
The alcohol in my system, makes me feel shite
Again, I plunge myself, face first into the sink
Feeling awake now, beginning to think
Dry my face and pull out the plug
Look at myself, give my face a good rub
Time to get ready, and put on some slap
Lift up my makeup bag, think I need to downsize
If it gets any bigger, I need to lift with my thighs!
Open it up and pull out my things
Foundation, powers, and beautiful things
Apply my makeup, looking more like me
Just polish the edges, now like what I see
Foundation, eyeliner, lippy, and blush
Make me feel better, less of a mush
Admire in the mirror, now like what I see
Still the same person, a better version of me
Ready to face the world, now I am
Dysphoria day, do one please
I’m who I am, and this is me

I don’t often post text from other sites on the internet, but this story has touched me so much. The story of Alice Litman.

Read the story, and this is some reminiscent of many Trans people in the UK.

Taken from the Instagram account of @lovesuzifox

My synopsis is at the bottom of the page along with support help and groups.

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Trigger warning.

If you are struggling with your mental health then please stop here. Otherwise, please read on.

On Sunday at a Trans Day of Remembrance vigil in London I stood listening to people who’d lost loved ones because of transphobia talk about their amazing friends or family members. All the stories were hard to hear, but one in particular hit home for me.

It was told by Kate Litman, a cisgendered woman, about her sister Alice, a 20-year-old trans woman from Brighton. On May 26th this year she took her own life because she couldn’t face the future as a trans person in Britain. I’ve put the transcript of Kate’s words up as slides. I implore you to read them.

To many, Trans Day of Remembrance is just a date they hear about with no meaning. It’s easy to walk on and continue with your lives. For the people who have lost loved ones this isn’t possible.

I want you to read the story so you can see a real family that transphobia has affected. Someone who laughed, loved and danced. But who still couldn’t face the life trans people have to face.

I’m doing this because I’m not prepared to let another family, or group of friends stand up and tell us through their tears how much they miss someone amazing. How life will never be the same. Just because right-wing bigotry, religious intolerance or government culture wars make life unbearable.

And I’m bored of hearing people say how this shouldn’t be happening. How people should just let trans people be themselves. How we should be free to live our lives.

‘Should’ is a word I hear a lot. Should changes nothing.

The trans community needs more than ‘should’. We need action. We need our allies to be vocal in your support. Shut down friends who spread lies about us. Write to your MP urging them to support better trans healthcare. Learn about trans issues or donate to charities supporting trans lives.

Start by donating to the charities chosen by Alice’s family. The link to them is in my linktr.ee link in my bio.

I’d like to say I’m sorry if this post was uncomfortable for you. But I’m not sorry. You should be angry. You should want to stop it happening. And you should be asking what more can I do.

Why post this?

May trans people will read this and it will either ring true to their own experience or they will have some element of this story in their own journey. There are some elements of Alice’s story with my own, with social and medical services slow to react or provide poor services if at all.

I, from experience have Trans friends who have killed themselves and have thought about it myself on occasions.

This is why I also attend the Trans day of Remembrance and have done for many year. First to remember those but to show solidarity with other trans people experiencing the same issues as myself.

Alice’s story is incredibly sad and my heart goes out to her friends and family. Truly it does!

I hope that this page helps prevent even one more Trans person from committing suicide and I would rather talk to someone desperate or in need of help than read about their demise in the near future.

Help!

The following websites are here to help and offer support services for transgender people.

Mindland Trans (UK)

Trans Unite (UK)

LGBT Foundation (UK)

Trans Lifeline (USA)

The Trevor Project (USA)

The Tribe (Worldwide)

Please feel free to email me to inform me of other sites who provide help for Trans people.

As a Trans person let me first tell you how hard it is to be trans.

I’m not looking for sympathy, pity, or even your understanding, I just want you to accept that this is how I’ve chosen to live my life. Nothing more.

Let’s take a minute to understand why I want to live my life as the sex other than what I was designated at birth.

I’ve written about this before but I’ll summarise that I have never felt right in my body or mind and always liked feminine things and in my mid 40’s sought psychological help with my mental state which ended with me being diagnosed with gender dysphoria. This post is to help others understand what they might come up against.

There will be another article being posted shortly called “What’s good about being trans?” Watch this space!

Even now I occasionally still seek psychological help when I have a down moment and talking helps massively.

People think I woke up one day and said “I want to be a woman”.

No, this feeling was always there in the background, and only by digging deep did I understand the feelings I’ve been dealing with for as long as I can remember.

Now, even before you jump into being trans there’s the “becoming” trans phase and you must first admit you are trans. This is a hard decision to make.

So in 2019, I was handed a report which I read over and over and over and over, well you get the picture. It turned me into an insomniac overnight and I don’t think I slept much from September to November of that year.

My health suffered as did my mental state as I sat and thought, what do I do with this?

I ended up sitting with one of my dear friends and blurted everything out to him and his fiance over the course of 3 days. I went back to their house the following weekend and we talked pretty much all of that weekend as well. I knew what was in the psychotherapist’s report was correct but I didn’t know what to do with it, plus I was scared of the repercussions of being who I wanted to be.

1. what would my family think?
2. what would my friends think?
3. what would my customers think?
4. Should I really care about what 1, 2 and 3 think?

The following Monday I went to see my parents and we talked all day about me being trans and wanting to live what was left of my life as I saw fit.

If you know something is different about you all your life, you know this but you might need help to get there. This is a massive topic all on its own and I’ll be publishing something soon on this.

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Let’s take what it’s like on a daily basis and how hard is it to be trans?

I wake up every day and look at myself in the mirror and while I don’t despise what I see anymore, I really dislike my shape and form and definitely can’t look at myself naked for anything more than a few moments. I hate the way my body looks and how my complexion is, the body and facial hair, the shape, and other things!

I’ve never liked to look at myself and I think it’s probably only in the past few years I’ve started to look at myself and like what I see.

This is called body dysphoria and we all have some kind of dysphoria about ourselves whether this be our nose, face, arms, body, hands, feet, etc.

Now add in a massive dose of my body not matching the mental view of my body.

If you throw in that I feel like I was born into and have lived in the wrong body all my life, to the point both of these have caused me severe depression and massive anxiety.

I’ve done stupid things in my life to try to change this, some of them potentially life-threatening.

For over 20 years I have virtually no photos of myself and I seriously gave up on myself. I hated myself so much as I’ve always felt I was in the wrong body.

This is gender dysphoria and I only found this out after I sought the help of a psychotherapist.

I’ve known this all my life but it took many sessions talking to a professional head doctor to figure this out and what these feelings meant.

I don’t think this will ever go away as no matter what I do, what clothes I wear, what makeup I use, or what medical procedures I endure, I cannot change my mental state only appease it.

Perhaps in time, this will get easier as it has calmed since I admitted I was trans, started this transformation, and started taking estrogen.

However, there is always this thing at the back of my mind that I know I can never be what I strive to be, a woman, because I am genetically male and always will be no matter what I do in my life or changes I make to my body!

I can appear outwardly female but on a cellular level, I am XY and not XX.

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Society in general

Now let’s throw in how society sees me.

At the moment some people still view me as a man in a dress!

Don’t say they don’t because they do. Well maybe not you and those that do rarely say it to my face, but some sectors of society in general.

I walk down the street and I still hear people say, “Was that a man or a woman?” and each time I hear this a little bit of my heart breaks or my psyche takes a beating one more time. So, I get up and try a little harder the very next day. Whether that be with my makeup, my clothing, my mannerisms, or my voice.

My voice kills me but I’ve started thinking massively about it now before I open my mouth!

But the next day this prejudice is there again.

I try as hard as I can to be more than I was yesterday and by accepting I am trans and pursuing my path in life it’s made me a better person.

Being Trans has definitely made me kinder, more tolerant, and accepting to and towards other people. It has also made me a much happier person.

I definitely have more friends, whom I love deeply, in all sexualities, age groups, and walks of life.

My friends who’ve joined me on my journey, I love loads, as not only have they been here for me but they have helped me immeasurably just by being there. Whether that being to talk to, for a hug or just to provide support.

You help me more than you will ever know.

I ask only of them for their love and friendship.

Over New Year someone I’ve known as an acquaintance for many years said to me “I love you. Mikki is a beautiful person”

On the flip side, you will see I am much more likely to defend myself or the friends above are more likely to defend me. Being more mentally secure you will find me voicing my opinions and if needed will stand my ground.

Life as a trans woman also throws hatred at you from all directions and I’ve had vile things said to me both in real life and online.

I used to let it go but these days I’m ready to fight or educate and deciding which can be quite a challenge.

I’ve come to blows with people, because of how I choose to live my life is unacceptable to them personally, their religious views, or because of some bigotry, they’ve long held!

A concept alien to me as I could not force my views on someone else unless those views/actions directly harmed myself or someone else.

Yes, I may be transgender but I don’t walk into a room and then demand that people acknowledge my transiness (not a real word I’m sure but, it fits the sentiment) and I never would.

All I ask is for people to accept me as a human being, nothing more.

Getting called weirdo is honestly the least of the names I’ve been called.

Why should anyone be allowed to call me this because I seek to right a mental and physical issue inside of me?

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Prejudice

Essential Meaning of prejudice
1: an unfair feeling of dislike for a person or group because of race, sex, religion, etc.
The organization fights against racial prejudice.

2: a feeling of like or dislike for someone or something especially when it is not reasonable or logical
We tend to make these kinds of decisions according to our own prejudices.

Which ever way you look at it prejudice is a bad word, and I see this from all walks of life, even those within the LGBT community. To be fair I’ve also seen this aimed at my Lesbian and Gay friends as well.

I was called “an imposter” a few weeks ago by a woman in Leeds because “you shouldn’t be in the women’s toilets”

“Where should I go, in the men’s? Because I’m pretty sure I’d be in more danger in there than you are from me. Maybe your husband might like that?

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Let’s be clear about this, as this is important, and distinguishes trans women from crossdressers and drag queens.

I am trans and I am medically transitioning from male to female.

As part of this, I am prescribed female hormones and testosterone blockers which after a year have left me with both no sexual drive and zero sexual desire.

I do not want sex with anyone especially if non-consensual and in a filthy bathroom!

You will find this true of most MTF transgender.

I also don’t get down on my hands and knees and look underneath the stall doors and why the hell would I want to!

I just want to pee, wash my hands, fix my lipstick and leave! Nothing else!!!

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I’m not going in there to loiter or look under the stalls. Already enough folk doing that!

Other prejudices

Other forms of prejudice I get are usually from religious, mainly elderly religious people.

The elderly know no better and think that I am a Dick Emery type female, some kind of strange man’s roleplay!

Their religious beliefs can be quite rude.

Typically, I get called “a crime against God!” I’ve had this in my own village on numerous occasions.

This always makes me laugh, out loud these days as it’s quite pathetic.

Sorry, so I’m a crime against an imaginary man who lives on a cloud! Get real and get bent!

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The young and stupid

The young lads mock because they mock everything and are looking for confrontation from any means possible.

They’re typically just idiots and they stand together with other idiots to appear tougher than they actually are. If they were on their own they wouldn’t act so tough.

Sadly, this is the society we live in.

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The misgenderers

Oh, how some people think it’s either funny or they think they’re being clever or they’re just ignorant.

Let’s see how many times you can call me him, he, sir, bloke, fella, etc.

Funny how they stop when I call them “Twat”!

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The beauty profession

I’m going to stick one more group in the prejudice category, for the time being, and that’s the beauty profession.

In the past, I have had issues getting my nails done along with my hair treatments.

Some of the places I went near to my home weren’t open to the idea of cutting my hair or painting my nails.

Fine your loss but to those who reject transgender people remember this.

We have money!

On average I have my nails done every 2 weeks and this costs me £30 a time, that’s £780 a year if you don’t do maths.

My hair I have done every 6 weeks and it costs me about £70. Which is over £600 a year.

Add that up salon owners and tell me you don’t need my business!

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Now then what other things make being trans on a day-to-day basis difficult?

The other shit!

Clothing is a big issue for some trans people. Not just MTF but FTM as well.

I have 3 friends who are FTM trans and they struggle with finding male clothing small enough, particularly shoes and jeans and 2 of them end up buying kids clothes and kids shoes or they’ve got really good with a sewing machine.

I’m quite lucky that I have sized 8 feet. I can find shoes which fit but not easily. Larger-sized MTF trans struggle and I know this from many of the conversations I’ve had in the past. Particularly if they want anything stylish.

For example, I’ve been trying to buy knee-length boots recently and have really struggled to find anything which I can zip all the way up as I have larger calf muscles.

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The fantasists

Short one to start with and I might elaborate on this one!

People who think that I am some kind of fantasy shag.

At first, I wanted the attention, 2 years ago but now I’ve come to detect them very quickly.

It’s usually Asian men but I’ve had quite a few women who want to have sex with a transexual. Even couples!

No, more. Don’t want anyone these days.

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The medical and governmental professions

I could write War and Peace on these two.

I should add this isn’t all of the medical or governmental departments but they are both institutionally transphobic and some doctors let their religious prejudice shine through.

I have written articles on this in the past and am sure there is more to come.

This tory government is definitely transphobic otherwise they wouldn’t have given the LGB Alliance a platform at their conference in Manchester this year unless they did it for the money?

Dealing with the medical profession is a major headache and it seems dealing with them is more about battling through barriers and red tape. Let’s take for example getting my doctors to deal with the private clinic I’ve been going to for my prescriptions. At first, my own doctor said they would help with my blood test, then a few weeks later they said they wouldn’t. They then lied about the private clinic I use.

I’ve had problems getting my prescription fullfilled at a local pharmacist because I have a private prescription. If I’d have had an NHS prescription then chemists wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.

If I’d walk in with a private prescription. Different story!

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The Media

This isn’t all media, just some media. Some of the alternative press are refreshingly transgender-friendly.

The established media in general though are very Trans unfriendly and exclusionary. The BBC has written some vile articles over the past few years and recently see fit to publicise anti-trans news. They have even pulled out of the Stonewall agreement.

The Daily Mail, Express and Guardian have all been trans exclusive recently and they never seem to write balanced articles about trans people.

I guess writing balanced articles doesn’t sell newspapers!

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Relationships

This is a hard one to write as since admitting I’m trans and beginning my transition my needs and desires have changed.

I find myself not wanting a full-on sexual relationship and seek a more platonic but emotional relationship and this causes me problems.

I find that because of who I am, the person I am, and how I conduct myself that I attract more potential partners, but I can’t/don’t want to or struggle to provide on the physical side because it’s not necessarily what I desire on a regular basis.

I am pansexual but I am also an altruist sexually and this sometimes causes problems as my need to please others can sometimes be seen as strange.

Also, because my tastes have changed the women and men, I am attracted to fall into a ridiculously small category now, this again narrows my dating gene pool.

Does my head in, really does!

If I find you attractive, first off don’t be surprised if I tell you, and secondly, rejoice in this information because I’m not attracted to many people these days.

For the moment this is all but I will add to this as time goes on.