Do it once, it’s annoying but okay!

Do it twice, and beware, you’re on notice.

Do it 3 times and I’ll distance myself from you so quickly you won’t believe it, and have done on numerous occasions.

I’m four years down the line now and if you see me as I was four years ago then you either don’t care about me, or have some kind of problem with me being transgender.

I don’t do this to be nasty, or to be disrespectful. I do it to protect my own sanity, and my own sanity is more important to me than anyone else’s mental thought processes or inability to see me as what I am now. Basically, see ya later!

If you can’t remember my pronouns, use my name and if you can’t remember my name, try “Hun”, “friend” or even “mate”.

It’s not hard!

The post How I deal with misgendering appeared first on Official website of Mikki Tiamo.

One of those people, I completely blocked, I know they’ll probably be reading this and I can’t believe that you have the cheek to actually call me, shout at me and then say I’m a narcissist!

Yes, a narcissist!

If protecting myself from you and your comments makes me a narcissist then I think you need to have a word with the dictionary people to get the word reclassified.

By me accepting or dismissing your comments, so that you are not unhappy, does not make me a narcissist. It actually removes out of my life a negative influence, something I do not want in my life when I’ve worked so damn hard to get this life!

Especially, when I asked you not to do it in the past and yet again you do it again and again. So who’s the narcissist? Is it controlling or are you just seeking to put me down because of envy or another reason?

A few other people I have blocked and I will not let them back in my life even if you tried to communicate with me.

Others have apologised and we’ve talked but I feel let down especially when you’ve only ever known me as Mikki. What are you seeing which makes you say this? No really I want to know!

I’m still struggling with this as do I forgive and forget and give folk another chance?

Let me get this straight in my head. I’m supposed to feel BAD, because I made you feel BAD, because of you making me feel BAD? WTF!!!

I’m struggling because part of me thinks they will do it again.

I do try to see the best in people but there’s this little thing going round and round in my head that’s expecting a different result!

By writing what I wrote yesterday did make me feel relieved as id removed those negative thoughts from my head!

Maybe I should have approached people but I’ve spoken to them about this in the past and they’ve still done it again and being kept awake at night or having that thought in my head keep rolling round and round is damaging my sanity.

I don’t want to be that bad person but sometimes I have to be to protect myself from “friends”.

If the tables were turned what would they do and why do you keep doing it!

Exacerbated is how I feel!

Maybe I should just do as others have suggested and tell people to f off?

The post The fall out appeared first on Official website of Mikki Tiamo.

It’s to exhausting and depressing to argue or even try to correct you anymore.

A week where I’ve been called “he” and “him” again by numerous “friends”.

It’s too exhausting and depressing to argue or even try to correct you anymore.

But I can’t keep my mouth shut about it because it’s really annoying and upsetting me.

I’m not going to argue with people anymore if you want to misgender me then consider my friendship null and void.

I will turn my back on people now and walk away!

By actually calling me that, especially if you call me friend, it tells me just how much you value me, view me as a person, and how you view our friendship.

And no, I’m not being a arse about this, it matters to me!

It also shows me where I actually stand with certain people.

If you don’t like what I’ve just said then bye!

It’s taking a lot of courage, energy, effort and soul searching to actually be myself and be a happy person. I’d have thought those who know me would understand this?

Those who knew me in my past life you have no excuse?

Apparently not!

So, to have my happiness blown out of the water by a “mistake” or lack of thought is actually devastating.

Perhaps, I shouldn’t care or just wash it under the carpet so as not to make you feel bad. But that makes me feel bad and my mental health is far more important for that to happen!

I refuse to sit and cry about this like I did last week!

If you do something which pisses me off and I asked you not to do it again, and then you do it again, it shows to me that you have no respect for me, and that you are actually a cunt!

People blocked, pushed away and ignored!

The post Done with folk appeared first on Official website of Mikki Tiamo.

After spending the day with my mother on Monday, who I know is never going to change irrespective of how many times I correct her on my chosen pronouns, but it’s the fact that she does it while speaking about me to other people while I’m in their presence. When I correct her she just says “Oh well you know”, which “Oh well no I don’t know” and it really freaks me out.

But what’s upset me more in the past couple of days is that a couple my “so called friends”, have misgendered me, whether it be a slip of the tongue or not!

The fact that they have done it is has really, really upset me today. And by upset, I mean, I’ve been in absolute floods of tears.

Some of these “friends” have done this after spending hours and hours talking to me, talking about my transition and what I have gone through to get to this point in my life, why I’ve done it, and then these people have said that they understood.

So, for them to then misgender me is an extremely bitter pill to swallow. These friends who say they support me but still on multiple occasions call me by my rejected gender.

Its not that they have done it to my face but they have done it while talking to other people about me, while I’m there!

If you make a slip with things like this then you’d apologise straight away but no, it’s like maybe I didn’t notice?!?!

I honestly can’t tell you the pain and hurt I feel inside right now!

I really feel like either I’ve been put in my place and all the conversations that we’ve had over the past couple of years have been a waste of time and maybe even that they haven’t listened, maybe even just paid me lip service.

Or is this how they really see me? Makes me think about my life choices and friendship choices. It also makes me question whether I need friends?

But the hurt in my heart today is really bad and it has really made me question whether choosing to be happy by completely changing my life was the right path? Maybe I should have just stayed as a miserable, depressing fucker?

I honestly don’t care what strangers think because they are exactly that, but when my so-called friends do this, it really does upset me! Especially when there is NO attempt made to correct themselves or apologise until I point it out. Again, this just shows how little they think about me!

So to misgender me to someone else, while i’m there is inexcusable, and has made me think about the friendships with some of these, so called friends!

The past fews days have affected me so badly that at the moment I can’t function without bursting into tears as not only do I feel hurt, I feel betrayed and in some respects abused.

So, those so-called friends who misgendered me over the past couple of days, go get fucked. I’m done.

You’re not really my friends and the friendship we once had has now been irreparably damaged.

And no I’m not being a fucking drama queen.

This shit really fucks with my head and just shows me what you really think about me!

The post Misgendered appeared first on Official website of Mikki Tiamo.

Irrespective of which way you transition, male to female or a female to male transgender, people will either misrepresent your pronouns or use them against you.

Whether they do this accidentally or maliciously is for you to decide.

Let’s take a day last week and someone I’ve known for years is talking to me.

They’ve seen me transition from day one and they call me “he”.

I corrected them straight away and low and behold they do it again and again and again.

It annoyed me so much that I walked away from them and haven’t spoken to them since.

I am pretty sure they were doing this to impress the others in the room and assert themselves or they did it to piss me off.

The latter was accomplished.

I don’t get misgendered very often but if people do it now I just walk away from those people and don’t engage with them anymore.

The last thing I expected though was to be misgendered by a friend!

The post Misgendered by a friend appeared first on Official website of Mikki Tiamo.