Ring ring. Hello Doctors Surgery!
Hi, I’m ill can you help me?
Had you had a valid Covid test in the past 5 days?
Er, No!
Well before we can help you, you need to have a valid Covid test to prove you don’t have Covid!
So let me understand this? Let’s say I’ve metaphorically got a blood-sucking parasite hanging off my face and you’d like me to pop down to your local friendly Covid testing center to make sure said blood-sucking parasite isn’t Covid?
Tsk, You need a valid test before we can help you.
Okay, so if I get a result today, can I phone back or will I have to pretend I’m not ill and phone back on Monday?
If you get a result today, call back.
So, I drag my very ill carcass down to the local testing center and get a test. 3 hours later I have the Covid results.
It’s negative.
I phone my doctors back and only on confirmation of my negative test do they actually want to listen to how ill I am.
Cunts!