Today has been a hard day as I’ve been to see two of my elderly relatives as they’re both in very ill health.
Hard for me because seeing my uncles like this has shocked me because up to a few years ago these men were still very influential in our family lives.
The first uncle I went to see is now into 4 years of being bed ridden after a massive stroke. He’s still all there mentally and his mind is still as sharp as ever, but his body is screwed and he can’t do pretty much anything for himself.
It’s been hard seeing him like this as he was a very active man up to having his stroke, a stroke he had while under general anesthesia, to have a badly broken collar bone reset.
I stayed and talked for a few hours and then went to see uncle #2.
This one has dementia and it’s now so bad he can’t even remember who I am, and he only really recognises his wife! Not even his own kids!
You can’t even have a conversation with him anymore as his long term memory has also faded to virtually nothing. He didnt even remember he had a sister. My mum!
Last year I was able to talk with him about his job but this year. Nope.
I don’t envy either of them or their respective wives and it’s got me thinking about those who look after their spouses or siblings who are either in ill health, physically or mentally impaired.
Apologies if those aren’t the right words but they seem the right way to describe my uncles.
This also must be especially difficult for those who look after such people, especially, if they themselves, are elderly or have zero support network around them. Not just from a physical point of view but also from a sanity point of view.
My first uncle has children but I’ve seen him more in the last 4 years than they have. The second has children and they visit regularly but he doesn’t remember them now.
I also noticed that my aunties have aged a lot in the past year and I can tell that my uncles conditions are taking a toll on them as well. Especially uncle #2 and she cried when I asked her how she was.
For those who are carers, for any family members in ill health, you have my utmost respect and admiration.
I cannot even understand how challenging this is for you on a daily basis. I salute you. Maybe in time I too will understand this duty.
And the powers that be. Be they the council, government and to a lesser extent the health care system you all should hang your heads in shame that some of the most vulnerable people in society are left to be cared for by their families with no support.
I apologise if this upsets anyone but it’s how I see things in my friends and family. Like I said, utmost respect.