The post My Heart appeared first on Official website of Mikki Tiamo.

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The noise I hear
Inside my head
Constant beating
Means I’m not dead
But sometimes recently
Is so loud
I often wonder
Should I be proud

The silence hear
It’s really loud
The noise I hear
A constant sound
A ticking time bomb
But not to explode
It reminds me
Im alive

My heart I wonder
If it will break
My emotional sorry
It’s mine to make
The constant beating
I wonder how
It sounds so loud
Like an external sound

I wish my heart
Was not so heavy
Heartbreak sucks
Like a broken levy
Dont want this pain
Inside of me
But my heart beats heavy
Constantly!

Image by Marah Bashir on Unsplash

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I’m sorry to those
Around me now
I know I am a moody cow
But my head and heart
Feel weird this time
Like something inside
Inside me died
Just want to curl up
Or cry in my head
Maybe scream out loud in private
Locked up in a shed

Can’t put my finger
On why I feel like this
But really feel emotionally drained
Like my zest for life
Has gone away
Temporary blip
On a downer for the day
Let’s home this feeling
It goes away
But for today
I feel weird
Emotionally vacant
No here, if that okay?
Let’s see if it changes
After I eat a burger with bacon
Or a margarita with bourbon
Emotionally vacant

The post I don’t know why appeared first on Official website of Mikki Tiamo.

Transphobic hate,
Getting every day,
Wished it all,
Would go away,
But the media spouting,
Myths and lies,
Spoiling all,
Our transgender lives

The media, they hate me
As does, the Harry potter lady,
Talking about bathrooms,
They’re always shouting, “Women’s safety!”
But no laws, am I flouting,
Just let me pee, can’t you see,
You’re giving me, severe anxiety,
When I go to the toilet, for a wee

Sometimes people, point and stare,
Is that a wig, or your own hair,
I’m not that different, to anybody else,
Just want to live my life, and nothing else
If you listen, I’ll tell you why,
I’m not living, A transgender lie
From an early age, Knew this well
My body was wrong, But who to tell

Understood my body, wasn’t really my own,
From an early age, born a boy
But wanted to be, a girl,
And that doesn’t mean,
You can call me Shirl.
Now I’m living, Can’t you see
living my best life, for all to see,
Living my best life, just like you

So leave me alone, to get on with things
To live my life
Free from prejudice, trouble and strife
Sometimes the pain I feel inside
Really cannot, Bloody well hide
So if you’re nasty, Or hatefull to me
I’ll retort with such venom
You’ll definately see!

When poked and prodded
I’ll defend my life
Gone are the days, I cower and hide
Proud to be transgender
My life in my hands
Supported by family
A beautiful girlfriend
And so many good friends

Changed so much
In the past 5 years
Unrecognizable now
So much happier, a happier me
My body it’s changing
And so is my mind
Nice when I’m happy
But always so kind

Sometimes I’m abused
Do it, or I’ll tan your behind
Because this lady knows
What she feels deep inside
And if you think
You’re better than me
Because of religion
Or some other shit seen on the BBC

You ain’t my darling
I’ve heard it all before
Most of its bullshit
And I can prove it of course
Feed me bullshit
You read in the press
And I’ll give you the truth
The facts are out there for all to see!

Been called a puff,
A faggot, a wierdo!
A nonce, by a copper
and so much more
Even a peado, and predatory whore
Some of the names
I’ve been called in the past
Make me stronger, this girl is built to last

This world around me
It’s hard to be trans
But the harder you in push
The more determined I’ll last
Am I wierd?
For living as me?
Only I know the answer
Don’t second guess, thee!

I was happy to be
A wall flower in life
But the world around me
Makes me fundamentally strive
To help other people, just like me
To give them my advise
And knowledge to be
As they want to be in their life, maybe like me

That is my mission
This is my life
I am me, all I ask
Is that you be nice
Be an ally, a friend
If you can’t just walk away
And get on with your life
Live your life, your way

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I sometimes wonder
What it would be like
To have no passion too
Only a drive to get up, everyday
And just be happy with life
Do whatever, simple tasks
Like chop wood for no reward
Or just sit and brush my hair

I sometimes wonder
What it would be like
If I didn’t have any thoughts
No passion, no intelligence
A human sheep, of sorts
No one to care for
Just existing in this world
I’d be happy with that

I sometimes wonder
What it would be like
To lie in bed
No intrusive thoughts
Or noise in my brain
I’d be able to drift to sleep
That would be so blissful
I really do think, of a life like this

I sometimes wonder
What it would be like
No conversation or chit chat
Just going through
This world of ours
No airs or graces
Not saying owt
A massive verbal speaking drought

I sometimes wonder
What it would be like
To distance myself from folk
Sitting all alone
In silence, no thoughts, no words
It sounds so wonderful to me
But then no words
Would I write, but then we’re would I be

I sometimes wonder
What it would be like
If I never engaged
And got on with my life
No conversations I’d have
Discussions I’ve had
No disappointments
No reason to think about general life

I sometimes wonder
What it would be like
If no attention given to the TV
No emotions
No cares within my life
Devoid of life’s “challenges”
Just me, on my own
Would I really be happy all alone?

I sometimes wonder
If life would be so bad
If I didn’t have thoughts
Would I really care
Or emotionally retort
Life it sucks sometimes
But I wonder because I can
Because I’m of a human kind

I wonder quite a lot
About all of these things
My brain won’t switch off
From various things
But one thing I know
Is that I am alive
Thoughts or not
In my life, I’ll survive

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