A mental brainwash, chemically eroded,
Parts of my brain, got corroded,
Giving me this momentary indisposition,
Of being in such, a strange position.
My brain is firing, at Lightening speed,
So damn fast, it don’t want to heed!
Sometimes these thoughts, got me slightly frightened,
Almost like, all my senses becoming massively heightened.
Something inside got turned up to ten,
Words going round and here we go again,
Thoughts going round, repeat that back,
Cross it out, and then write it back.
This chemical imbalance inside my mind,
Means I’m writing this shit down, all the time,
Can’t help myself, need to get, it out,
I want to sleep, like constantly listening, to a silent shout.
But here I lay, in a mental state,
Of fucked up shit, Barely able to take,
I’m really not able to deal with it,
Though this imposition, keeps me writing this.
In a weird and anti social state,
Try to sleep but no chance, mate.
All these thoughts, going round and round,
Inside my head, getting me down, I need rest instead.
I can’t sleep again, although, I love me bed,
This mental state, ain’t good for my head.
This chemical imbalance inside my mind,
Sometimes makes me think, that I have died.
But these thoughts, they pass, really quick,
As my brain flaps about like a dying fish.
Sometimes words, my mind just can’t decipher,
As I lay here writing down, another cypher.
Momentary pause, while I close my eyes,
Then it happens again, as my brain shouts out, like its cried.
Making me write, write this shit down,
Words are flowing, sometimes I feel, like I might drown.
Feel much safer now, as I watch the words,
Sprawl out quickly, across the paper.
Can’t deal with this shit, happening all the time,
So, why am I writing down, another rhyme?
Starting to feel, decidedly shitty,
As my brain, it knocks out another ditty.
Haven’t slept proper now for ner a week,
Because my brain, won’t count, fucking sheep!
When I get like this, can’t help but write,
A metaphorically unneeded, pile of shite.
And some might say, “to damn right”,
I really wish, I’d just sleep and not, have to fight.
Other times do really wish, I didn’t have this gift,
or a curse, depends on how you look at it!
Wishing it all would go away,
Just like now, on this day.
Tried the drugs, they just don’t act,
Still have to write, and that’s a fact.
This chemical imbalance inside my head,
Just let me sleep, sleep instead!
A momentary lapse of concentration,
For a brief second please, of relaxation.
Don’t always see things in black and white,
Grey scale darlings, and muddy shite.
The chemical imbalance inside my head,
Now coupled with drugs, got me seeing blues, pinks, and whites instead.
Fluffy things happen inside my mind,
Beautiful thoughts of the pleasant kind.
Trips of mushrooms, make me feel,
Wonderful things I wish others could see.
Sometimes patterns when I close my eyes,
And occasionally hallucinations inside this mind.
Coupled with music, a brief respite,
Brain shouts and shouts, but can’t hear it now.
My thoughts still there, they shout, and shout, and shout,
But the really loud music, just won’t let them out.
Hours and hours, from my thoughts, a much needed rest,
but music stops, and the respite halts.
This chemical imbalance inside my mind,
I wish it would fuck off, all the time.
Mikki Tiamo, 2023
