be yourself

Running away from yourself

I’ve spent most of my life running away from myself. If that sounds familiar then sooner or later you have to sit yourself down and have a good conversation with yourself.

The alternative is you slowly hate yourself more and more every day and that hate will eventually kill you a little bit more inside every day. That is either until you hurt yourself or isolate yourself from everything and everyone.

Have that conversation sooner rather than later and be happy with what you are and not what you think you should be.

It took me 48 years of my life to have that conversation and I can truly say, I am now the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Firstly because I admit what I am and secondly because having done the first I am at peace with myself.

You can’t run away from yourself. You can’t as you have to live with yourself each and every day.

Sure you can numb your thoughts with drugs or drink but one day you’ll sober up and realise you’re still there.

Seek help, seek your true self, even if you might not like it, and be happy with yourself.

You cant find true happiness through others, only inner peace will bring true happiness.

Be yourself

What does it mean to be yourself? A question I’ve asked myself many times over the past few years.

Some people have lots and friends and family around who are supportive while they seek to find themselves or be themselves, while some of us choose solitary lives while we seek to find ourselves or to be ourselves.

Not everyone is the same and society pulls and pushes us to fit into certain boxes.

I’ve sat and pondered the answers to “who am I” and tried to find myself over the years and this has sometime lead to me hiding and even running away to find that elusive being – that is myself!

I’m here to tell you not to conform to those boxes but to make your own box.

Don’t sit inside one of societies little boxes, design, build or imagine your own box and once you’ve built it, make sure you spend time evolving that box – to make it a better version of yourself.

Don’t let “society” dictate who you should be and be who you want to be, unless its an axe murderer or homicidal maniac, then don’t be that. Or maybe do be that but perhaps not practise what’s in your box. Oxymoron alert!

Dress as you like, wear your hair as you like, pierce things, tattoo bits, be nice, be moody, be extreme, be friendly, be unfriendly, be happy, be sad, be cooperative, hide away, eat, drink and be merry or starve, be teetotal and be a miserable fucker!

The choice is yours. But be yourself.

Don’t let other dictate what you can and can’t be in your life.

I’ve spent a long time in my life trying to conform to what I think other people want and ultimately ended up unhappy because making others happy has not brought me happiness. In the short term I saw the pleasure in the eyes of others but time and time again this was short lived and my last deed is always expected to be surpassed.

I’ve learnt that by being me, being nice and being happy is more than enough for those who are my true friends and lovers. They don’t expect anything from me other than to be myself. And in our relationship, be it friend or otherwise, nothing is expected in return.

I digress.

We are all individuals, we all deserve happiness and we all should be who we want to be.

Be yourself my love’s and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Love Mikki

Why cant you be yourself?

Why can’t you be yourself? Be unique? Why does everybody think that we need to conform? To all be the same? To be drones? To all look the same? Dress the same? To even think the same way?

Surely one of the main things about being human is that we are all individuals, then if, why are we not allowed to act individually? To act as an individual, to stand out is almost socially unacceptable.

Me as me

For example, lets say the girl who dresses all in black, wears black makeup, black lipstick. Why do some of you want to look down on her, as if she some kind of weirdo?

Just because she doesn’t conform to “your” set of standards, you point at her as something strange. Well “fuck you” for thinking that way. Perhaps she see’s you as strange because you wear the same outfit as your friend Sharon in which case you look like a pale copy of your friend or vice versa.

What about the man who has tattoo’s all over his body, neck and face? Are you looking at him with fear and suspicion because of the way he looks? Well, I’ve met him and many others like him and he’s a really nice guy.

Then let’s take me.

Its taking me 50 years to realise that I’m something that society deems to be “abnormal” but I’ve chosen to go down this path because this is what makes me feel happy inside. I don’t expect you to understand but this is what makes me happy. Yes, I don’t fit into your little social centric box of being normal because normal makes me unhappy!

I’ve had the miss pleasure today of walking round the Trafford centre something that I don’t particularly like.

One likes to shop but I don’t like the Trafford centre and the only reason I go is because the staff at Boots know me, they know what I like, they know what I want to buy.

The number of people in there today that have looked down their noses at me and my friend because we go against social normality. Those people, fuck you, and if I were you i’d honestly think before you cast aspertions on other people. Perhaps you should look in the mirror as you aren’t Mr and Mrs Perfect.

I will wear what I want to wear. I will dress how I want to dress. I will do my makeup as I see fit and if society or other people don’t like that I don’t care. Why should I confirm to a social stereotypes to make other people feel comfortable?

If you do feel uncomfortable around me because of how I’m dressed then that says more about your mental state than my mental state. You only see the clothes and not the person underneath.

Am I doing such a bad thing? Or am I just a nutter? Am I somebody that’s found happiness being of what I want to be? Is society’s view so bad that anything other than “normal” is protrayed as weird?

If I told you, “you can’t have tattoo’s” or “you cant have a nose piercing” you’d more than likely tell me to Uck foff!

Well, please feel free to do the same.

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