dysphoria

Alice’s Story – RIP Alice Litman

I don’t often post text from other sites on the internet, but this story has touched me so much. The story of Alice Litman.

Read the story, and this is some reminiscent of many Trans people in the UK.

Taken from the Instagram account of @lovesuzifox

My synopsis is at the bottom of the page along with support help and groups.


Trigger warning.

If you are struggling with your mental health then please stop here. Otherwise, please read on.

On Sunday at a Trans Day of Remembrance vigil in London I stood listening to people who’d lost loved ones because of transphobia talk about their amazing friends or family members. All the stories were hard to hear, but one in particular hit home for me.

It was told by Kate Litman, a cisgendered woman, about her sister Alice, a 20-year-old trans woman from Brighton. On May 26th this year she took her own life because she couldn’t face the future as a trans person in Britain. I’ve put the transcript of Kate’s words up as slides. I implore you to read them.

To many, Trans Day of Remembrance is just a date they hear about with no meaning. It’s easy to walk on and continue with your lives. For the people who have lost loved ones this isn’t possible.

I want you to read the story so you can see a real family that transphobia has affected. Someone who laughed, loved and danced. But who still couldn’t face the life trans people have to face.

I’m doing this because I’m not prepared to let another family, or group of friends stand up and tell us through their tears how much they miss someone amazing. How life will never be the same. Just because right-wing bigotry, religious intolerance or government culture wars make life unbearable.

And I’m bored of hearing people say how this shouldn’t be happening. How people should just let trans people be themselves. How we should be free to live our lives.

‘Should’ is a word I hear a lot. Should changes nothing.

The trans community needs more than ‘should’. We need action. We need our allies to be vocal in your support. Shut down friends who spread lies about us. Write to your MP urging them to support better trans healthcare. Learn about trans issues or donate to charities supporting trans lives.

Start by donating to the charities chosen by Alice’s family. The link to them is in my linktr.ee link in my bio.

I’d like to say I’m sorry if this post was uncomfortable for you. But I’m not sorry. You should be angry. You should want to stop it happening. And you should be asking what more can I do.

Why post this?

May trans people will read this and it will either ring true to their own experience or they will have some element of this story in their own journey. There are some elements of Alice’s story with my own, with social and medical services slow to react or provide poor services if at all.

I, from experience have Trans friends who have killed themselves and have thought about it myself on occasions.

This is why I also attend the Trans day of Remembrance and have done for many year. First to remember those but to show solidarity with other trans people experiencing the same issues as myself.

Alice’s story is incredibly sad and my heart goes out to her friends and family. Truly it does!

I hope that this page helps prevent even one more Trans person from committing suicide and I would rather talk to someone desperate or in need of help than read about their demise in the near future.

Help!

The following websites are here to help and offer support services for transgender people.

Mindland Trans (UK)

Trans Unite (UK)

LGBT Foundation (UK)

Trans Lifeline (USA)

The Trevor Project (USA)

The Tribe (Worldwide)

Please feel free to email me to inform me of other sites who provide help for Trans people.

I hate being hairy

I am hairy and I hate being hairy. I really do and always have done and it’s one of my biggest body dysphoria issues. Hairy legs, arms, back and chest along with a hairy backside 🙁

It’s bothered me all my adult life and I spend lots of time and effort in removing it. Shaving, Plucking, Depletary creams, Epilators and IPL machines.

Arms, Legs, Chest, and Back all get the same treatment, and those bits I can’t reach myself, such as my back, I pay someone to help me.

I shave my legs and arms and sometimes I use an epilator but it’s painful most times I use it and it takes longer than shaving, but it gives good results.

I’ve used a lot of hair removal creams on my body but always end up disappointed and end up shaving or having them waved.

My back is always waxed and it lasts for weeks. At the moment because of Covid lockdown, I’m struggling to get this done and my dysphoria is on high alert at the moment.

My face is a problem and sometimes my Dysphoria get so bad I will sit and pluck all my facial hair out of my face with tweezers which is really painful but it’s also the only way I can be shave free for over a week, and if I keep on top of it I can make it last for months.

I haven’t had any appreciable amount of hair on my chin now since Christmas 2020 and every time I see a few hairs then out comes my tweezers and its sayonara facial hair. I can’t pluck my upper lip hair as it’s just too painful.

I even tried having it waxed but again the pain was too much but I keep trying it as my top lip bothers me as well.

Once a month I even have nasal hair and ear hair waxed and in summer this is usually more often.

I just hate being hairy!

Dealing with my doctors, 11/03/21

After the elation of the weekend and speaking to GenderGP today has been a massive depression after dealing with my doctors. It has left me crying my eyes out and more depressed than for many years.

The conversation with my GP today has reaffirmed my opinion that the NHS does not want to or are reluctant to help trans people or are hell bent on putting blocks in place.

I phoned my GP today to confirm that they would indeed support my prescriptions as 4 weeks ago the last doctor I spoke to said there shouldn’t be a problem which in my book doesn’t mean yes. Hence why I was checking.

On speaking to another doctor at the practice today, not only did she say they wouldn’t support me using Gender GP but she also cast aspersions about the owners of Gender GP which I have investigated and found to be untrue. She said that the owners of Gender GP had been struck off the medical register and it turns out they have been suspended. So allegations are not true. Very unprofessional of my GP.

My GP’s have said they will not support me in using Gender GP and said they will only help me if I use the assigned gender clinic, ie: Sheffield GIC. Which at present has a waiting time of 44 months. So much for the NHS’s 18 weeks referral times!

I am absolutely crushed by this but determined to forge forward and will pay for my own prescriptions and blood tests if needs be.

I have already paid for my own psychotherapy, and this is just another kick in the teeth or block in the way from the NHS.

After a year on the waiting list, I am still no further forward.

Time to take matters into my own hands.

Time to make time for my own matters.

Scroll to top