One of the people that I really struggled coming out to was coming out to my mum.
This was the hardest person to express my feelings too for no other reason that I absolutely adore my mum even though sometimes she drives me up he wall. I am my mother’s son and I think we are very similar.
I struggled telling my mum on two fronts the first being, I honestly didn’t know what to say to her at first and I didn’t just want to pull out the first thing that came into my head. So I spent a long time actually conjugating words in my head over and over again before I actually expressed these words to her in person.
There was a problem with this that despite telling my mum 5 times it was only when I turned up at my parents house dressed as Mickey that she understood what I’d been talking about.
The way that I’d chosen to express myself to her or whether or not it was the words that I’d chosen which with the issue I do not know. Just maybe that she didn’t want to hear ultimately what I was telling her. However now that I have told her she understands and we have a much better relationship now than we’ve ever had.
The second reason I really struggled is I didn’t want to hurt my mum and although I know so that she only seeks my happiness in life if I also didn’t want to say something to her which would upset or annoy her hence why it took me so long actually summon up the courage and the correct words to express my emotions and to some extent my mental state towards her.
And no, I shouldn’t have worried about this but it did cause me a great amount of anguish as to what to say.
It’s quite ironic that the words that I chose on five different occasions we’re nowhere near as effective as my actions has just turning up dressed as Mikki.
As I said earlier the relationship that my mother and I know have is the best it has ever been in my entire life it’s almost like, be me, be myself thank you I want to be and ultimately been happy about my life I can now discuss things with my mother but I’ve never been able to discuss with her before.
Doesn’t matter how I visit her whether it be as Mike or Mikki she is fully accepting of who I am and how I dress and I have found myself having numerous discussions with my mother about clothing and makeup. On one occasion my mum has actually said to me that my makeup was too over the top until I explained it was for Halloween. We laughed!
Since outing myself to my mum she has said I am so much happier than I have been for a long time and like I said we have a much better relationship since.
