I’ve been thinking a lot recently about relationships and I’ve come to my own conclusion, I really don’t want anyone!

No more relationships.

Seriously, I must be a magnet for fucked up arseholes.

Okay, I ain’t no saint and I admit I have my own problems but some of the people I’ve been chatting to and on dates with make me think the human race is fucked! Well, at least those I’ve met on dating apps!

In the past 14 months, I’ve been out with men and women and all these have either had some kind of issue and/or emotional baggage (usually a suitcase full) or problems that they are either unwilling or incapable of dealing with.

They’re looking and/or want a new relationship so that their new partner can deal with their issues for them or maybe find help but really, they don’t want to or their still emotionally attached to their last partner.

God, that makes me sound like a whingy bitch, but I see it time and time again and despite any help given its usually rejected or throw back at you. Seeking emotional support to get over a previous partner at the start of a new relationship is never a good thing.

Supporting the fears and insecurities, fine. Let’s address those but I don’t want to know about your ex.

Then there is those with kids.

I’m never going near another human being who has young children as they use them as an excuse for everything,

“Sorry, my child is ill!”
“Parent evening”
and the most popular – “Problems with my child’s other parent”

Every person I’ve been with in the past who has kids subconsciously goes out of their way to make me feel second best. As a non parent I get this but it becomes very wearing. Your kid comes first but don’t trample all over my emotions and then expect me to be waiting open armed.

While we are on the subject of trampling emotions, dating those with kids always make me feels like I’m in a relationship with 2 people! I’m not talking about the child here, I’m talking about the child’s other parent.

You all hate your ex or you only tolerate them because of your child but you all bitch and whine about them behind their backs and then two faced, smile at them and act all nicely, nicely. Hold on rewind to what you were saying 5 minutes ago. This person was a “monumental arsehole” and now your chatting about the weather to them! Wasn’t this also the person who screwed a dozen women behind your back?

Plus, you expect me to take your side, even when you’re wrong. “I’m not letting my child go to her dads because…. You know I’m right? Darling?” er no. you’re using your child to get to at your ex and if they did that to you you’d be the first to call them a cunt! So, bye!

Oh, what? I’m now the bad person, thus affirming you’re a cunt!

Then there’s the people who try to treat me like a piece of meat.

I went out with a guy not long ago who after one date just sent me picture after picture of his cock and I’m not talking about the kind that makes noises at sunrise every morning.

It wasn’t even a nice one, but I guess some folk would get off on that!

I’ve also had women do the same then say, “I saw your post on Instagram and thought you might like this?”

What I post on social media isn’t leading anyone on so don’t treat it like it is.

Those with alcohol, marijuana, other drug problems. Get pissed, have an argument, have a fight. Fuck off! I like a drink but also stop before I can’t stand up any longer.

Weed smokers who’d put Bob Marley to shame. Paranoid as fuck. “My ex this, my ex that, someone’s following me, they’ve got it in for me. etc..”.

I went out with a coke habit like she was auditioning for the role of a Henry vacuum cleaner, she snorted that much coke. Ironically, despite her psychosis I’d take her everyday over some of the others above. But her habit was beginning to effect me as well as I got very paranoid about the people who called at her house. Very paranoid!

Last one, I met someone in January, we chatted, we flirted and eventually we met. I swear the person I met was not the person I was talking to online. Almost schizophrenic!

Online, nice as pie, funny and communicative.

In person, complete sociopath who went mad at the slightest problem and shouted at the guy in the coffee shop so much I had to drag her out of there before he phoned the police.

She the tore a strip off me to which my reaction was equally brutal. I walked away from that one but five minutes later she’s on whatsapp, all sweetness and light.

It’s it me?

No, no way. How can I cause such a reaction in such a broad spread of people?

I’ve asked my friends and they don’t think I’m an arsehole and they’ve know me for many years.

Maybe, I just attract arseholes?

Maybe I attract like for like?

Maybe I’m not cut out for a relationship?

Maybe I’m happier and safer single?

Fuck knows, they’re not all been bad but I’m looking at getting a t-shirt made for summer. “Arsehole magnet”

Avatar photo

Written by

Mikki Tiamo

Welcome to Mikki's profile on Mikki's website.

I am Mikki Tiamo and this page is just some of the articles, posts and gripes I have written.

Hope you like them and if you don't, C'est La Vie!