So what’s it like to be on female hormones is a question I get asked a lot and all I’m gonna say is “hormones beware” because once you go down the road as a Transwoman you need to be aware as to how these hormones will affect you mentally not just physically!
I’ve been on female hormones now for 6 years, and my own regime and over the past six years have been various drugs and the last year has been different.
Now my medication is beginning to kick in fully and I’m on Estrogen patches 150mg patches every three days and also Prostrap.
So be aware of what to expect.
Don’t think this is going to be a walk in the park!
The mood swings that I am experiencing over the past 12 months have been nothing short of mind-blowing and I don’t mean mind blowing in a good way either.
I’ve got really bad brain fog and I also my brain is flip flopping between moments of elation to really bad anxiety and really bad panic attacks.
These as i get towards the end of the Prostrap, which is a testosterone reduction drug injected once every 3 months, become very severe and cause me such mental anguish that it affects my very ability to think clearly. So much so its making me not care whether I’m alive or not, this is not suicidal thoughts but just that I couldn’t care less.
My mood suffers, my health suffers, my relationship suffers, my work suffers and I just don’t care about anything, including myself.
This has gotten worse in the last 12 months and this month is the worst yet!
I’m due my injection in 2 weeks and my mood is low.
I had a massive panic attack this morning and things I’m really good at, I couldn’t do, I couldn’t cope with the pressure of my mixing music as I practised DJing and I ended up crying on the decks.
My partner and I argued over something really trivial but it was a big deal to me.
I’ve removed myself from everyone today and I’m sat with only my brain and thoughts, which to be honest are so muddled and foggy I’m struggling to think about things, process things and order my life.
I’ve written this, as I need to get it out of my head, and for the rest of the day I will be sitting in a dark room being vacant!
The hormonal changes to my body are fantastic but the mental changes are next level shit and something I wasn’t aware of when I started in this journey.
My partner says that she can relate to how feel as it’s like being around someone with bad PMD, she’s understanding to a point but I’m not my usual happy self at the end of month, three weeks before my next prostrap injection.
It’s not all frilly dresses and nice frocks, there is a down side!
