I am really struggling today with being misgendering!

After spending the day with my mother on Monday, who I know is never going to change irrespective of how many times I correct her on my chosen pronouns, but it’s the fact that she does it while speaking about me to other people while I’m in their presence. When I correct her she just says “Oh well you know”, which “Oh well no I don’t know” and it really freaks me out.

But what’s upset me more in the past couple of days is that a couple my “so called friends”, have misgendered me, whether it be a slip of the tongue or not!

The fact that they have done it is has really, really upset me today. And by upset, I mean, I’ve been in absolute floods of tears.

Some of these “friends” have done this after spending hours and hours talking to me, talking about my transition and what I have gone through to get to this point in my life, why I’ve done it, and then these people have said that they understood.

So, for them to then misgender me is an extremely bitter pill to swallow. These friends who say they support me but still on multiple occasions call me by my rejected gender.

Its not that they have done it to my face but they have done it while talking to other people about me, while I’m there!

If you make a slip with things like this then you’d apologise straight away but no, it’s like maybe I didn’t notice?!?!

I honestly can’t tell you the pain and hurt I feel inside right now!

I really feel like either I’ve been put in my place and all the conversations that we’ve had over the past couple of years have been a waste of time and maybe even that they haven’t listened, maybe even just paid me lip service.

Or is this how they really see me? Makes me think about my life choices and friendship choices. It also makes me question whether I need friends?

But the hurt in my heart today is really bad and it has really made me question whether choosing to be happy by completely changing my life was the right path? Maybe I should have just stayed as a miserable, depressing fucker?

I honestly don’t care what strangers think because they are exactly that, but when my so-called friends do this, it really does upset me! Especially when there is NO attempt made to correct themselves or apologise until I point it out. Again, this just shows how little they think about me!

So to misgender me to someone else, while i’m there is inexcusable, and has made me think about the friendships with some of these, so called friends!

The past fews days have affected me so badly that at the moment I can’t function without bursting into tears as not only do I feel hurt, I feel betrayed and in some respects abused.

So, those so-called friends who misgendered me over the past couple of days, go get fucked. I’m done.

You’re not really my friends and the friendship we once had has now been irreparably damaged.

And no I’m not being a fucking drama queen.

This shit really fucks with my head and just shows me what you really think about me!

😭

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Mikki Tiamo

Welcome to Mikki's profile on Mikki's website.

I am Mikki Tiamo and this page is just some of the articles, posts and gripes I have written.

Hope you like them and if you don't, C'est La Vie!