Being Alone

Being Alone

If you’re going to go down the road and embrace your transition, then you’d better get used to being alone.

First of all, I’m not talking about being on your own socially.

I’m talking about being on your own romantically.

I’m not short of sexual contact but what I am short of is a long-term relationship and there’s several reasons why! Let me try to explain.

First off let me say that being on your own affords YOU the opportunity to just get on with it, get on with your transition I mean.

You’re not being hindered nor are you pandering to someone else or someone else’s agenda.

Secondly being alone will help you to discover more about yourself because of the above.

A Lonely Place

However, being alone is a lonely place to be, and if you do find someone you had better make damn sure they accept you for what you are or, if you already have someone, again make damn sure they accept you for what you are now and are going to be in the future. Otherwise, one of you is going to be very unhappy in the future!

Even if they say they love you now, will they love you as your body changes and mental state changes?

By that I mean they want to be with you for you and not try to change you into something else or something they want you to be?

Also, you need to make damn sure that they don’t want or try to stop you from transitioning for their own needs.

And that’s not selfish, that’s just you doing what’s best for you, but if you want to stop or hold your transition because of this person be sure you’re happy to do that and won’t regret this in the future. If you’re in two minds about your transition because you are worried about how it will affect someone else, then you need to question your need to transition in the first place.

I have experience of people wanting to be with me as a trans person because they thought I was something else or wanted me to be something else for them. I’ve even been called a novelty by past girlfriends.

I also know plenty of trans people who have had experiences of this as well!

If you find someone who is willing to be with you because they see the beautiful person underneath, then grab them with both hands and hold on to them as if they were the most precious thing you’d ever held in your life.

Over the past few years, I’ve found quite a few people who are fascinated by trans people, be they trans women or trans men, but purely on a social scale and as soon as things get even remotely serious then they’d back off and you’d be friend zoned or even worse, rejected completely!

Again, this is not uncommon!

Honestly, I’ve found it’s best to remain emotionally detached and stay friends for a long time before even contemplating a relationship.

It might seem my opinion is jaded but I find that when people have shown interest in me in the past it’s purely for their own self-satisfaction, self-gratification, or their own curiosity because you are different.

However, this difference will drive a wedge between you in the long term for exactly that reason.

You are different!

Being trans is a lonely place romantically. If casual sex is gratifying enough then you’ll be fine, but this girl needs to curl up with someone and hold them, or be held in their arms.

Page Title: Being Alone
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Categories: blog, My Gender Journey, Transgender,

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