Month: October 2020

Birthday disappointment

Today is my 50th birthday and what a big birthday disappointment it’s been. I had a big birthday party planned and myself and a large group of us were going to go out for a few drinks and then go to a psytrance event and dance the night and possibly the next day away!

Sadly, because of this Corona bollocks, all this has been cancelled. Not because I wanted to but because the event we were going to go to has been cancelled.

When the first lockdown ended I did try and organise another event but all the rules and regulation changes meant that we couldn’t do this. Who wants to go out and sit in groups of six!

However, I did go to Leeds in August, to celebrate Mikki’s first birthday as Mikki, with my mate Wendy and had a good laugh and got absolutely fucking wasted.

Love you Wendy, babes.

I’ve also had some great nights out since July with Bob and Vic, Barry and Natalie, Doug and Lisa as well as nights out with the girls.

10pm curfew put paid to that!

Today, instead of celebrating with a party a friend and I, are off to Blackpool for the night. We can’t go out out but restaurants are open (and serving alcohol) as are so are many other businesses, arcades, etc.

Not the 50th birthday I had planned but until Corona bullocks goes away this is the best I could do.

At lease I’ve gone out as I know friends from school, who are also 50, haven’t even been out for a drink since March!

Maybe on my 51st birthday I’ll get to do all the things I’d planned for my 50th.

Watch out 2021 as I am gonna party like never before. In general 2020 has been a massive disappointment, but its also been my big 50th birthday disappointment.

Being Single

For the first time since 1996 I find myself well and truly being single. Not in a relationship.

You know what? I’m not really bothered about this. Thought I was but I’ve realised I’m really not.

Almost immediately after the breakdown of my marriage I started another relationship.  Perhaps because of my own stupidity or whatever, it came an end and despite many short term liaisons since, I find myself single for the first time in over 24 years.

For the past couple of months I have mourned my relationships because I’m not in one but alas no more and I’m not even seeking another relationship either.

Firstly, I need to spend some time on my own to find me again, and secondly because I am quite content to be on my own and do things for me. Yep, I’ve got selfish syndrome.

I’ve started photography again, I’ve started running again, I’ve started going away more, I’ve just dropped everything on more than one occasion and just disappeared for a week and I’ve bought myself things I’ve promised myself in the past but never purchases because I was afraid of my partner’s reaction.

Another reason is because I’m beginning to reconnect with my old friends, enjoying the ones I have already and am quickly making many new ones.

I’ve realised that because of my relationships I’ve pushed friends and family away, especially when I was married, and family and friends are also important in life and even in a relationship.

The reaction from friends over the past few months has been nothing short of spectacular and I do have some really good friends, some of who I haven’t seen for years and some who have circumstances similar to me. Most who have been there to share life with, talk to, listen to, comfort, and offer advice if needed.

I love my friends as they have rallied round when I’ve been down in the dumps and dragged me out of a well of self-pity.

I admit I have looked at online dating sites but have removed myself very quickly as the bile and vitriol I see in the profiles of others makes me recoil in horror at these people.

What is going on in your head for you to think that what you’ve written in your profile is going to attract someone?

“Yeah, next” swipes left!

I’ve also had some very rude and candid comments from women which makes me again recoil away from them and online dating websites however I do kind of admire you bottle but perhaps say “I’m only interested in men with beards, beer bellys and a steroid infatuation”

Perhaps if you’d thought more to include what you want instead of what you don’t want then perhaps you wouldn’t perceive it as a waste of time!

If you’re on one of these sites and you are thinking of starting afresh, ask yourself.

First are you over your ex? So many of you aren’t and asking a new person to help you heal is a recipe for disaster and it’s unfair to start a relationship with “heal me” if you ask me.

Secondly, ask yourself if you are ready for a commitment and ask yourself if you actually want a relationship or just someone to pander to you?

I’ve been on many dates in the past year but I think a few of them just wanted a free lunch, no they actually wanted a free lunch! Had too many financial hangers on recently!

The best relationships recently have been those that have just said “I’m lonely and want someone to talk to”, “I’d like to have sex with you” and even “I want to go out and don’t want to go alone”.

So, I’m not even looking, don’t want a partner, not too bothered about one night stands either.

I want to be me, find me and find peace with myself. I’m not unhappy, I’m not angry, I’m not searching for something unobtainable. I’m just happy being alone.

Not arsed, not looking and happy to be single.


Going unnoticed

I’ve given this way to much thought over the past few months and I’ve come to the conclusion that going unnoticed is not only undesirable but its also bloody difficult for a number of reasons.

First off, going unnoticed depends on what you’re wearing. You arent going to go unnoticed in 4 inch heels and a bright red dress!

You might do at a drag queen conference but in the middle of a small English town then you are going to stand out like a sore thumb. This however might just be what you want 😀

Secondly, going unnoticed is quite difficult especially if you’re Trans as you probably dress better than most women dress on a day to day basis. (I’m writing this while sat in my local Cafe having breakfast and of the three women in in here I am the best dressed. One is wearing her pyjamas (yep!), one is wearing joggers and a top and i’m wearing a fluffy pink sweater and a denim skirt).

I like to make an effort to get dressed everyday and lots of women don’t. Same with men I know. Not being rude Ladies and Gentlemen, just a stark observation.

Thirdly, going unnoticed is hard if you have more prominent male features. For example, a pronounced adam’s apple, wide shoulder or large hands/feet.

Again I am quite lucky in this regard and have small hands and feet and no noticable Adam’s apple.

Most time I dont want to go un-noticed.

Let me explain this, as this is where it gets deep.

I’ve invested a lot of time, effort and money in my appearance and I want to be noticed for my style and appearance. I dont necassarily want to be noticed as “a man in a dress” and thats why I spend time and effort on my appearance.

My make up is stop on everytime I leave the house and I dress nicely. Not, Over the top.

I am also not after the adorning glances of men, or women for that matter. I want to be noticed for my style and look and no other reason. I want to engage with people and talk to people. If I went unnoticed this is difficult.

I also dress for the occasion. Night out in Manchester or a special event and I want to be noticed. Work in Macclesfield and i’m dressing down a bit to blend in. However not to much as I dont want to be a wall flower.

Its bloody hard to go unnoticed so go with what you are comfy with, dress how you want and dont let anyone tell you otherwise,


A lot to think about

I have a lot to think about as I transition and the further I get down the line the more questions I get, which ultimately require answers.

My friends are fab and although they accept me for who I am they also ask me questions about what I am doing and the journey ahead. Sometimes they ask questions I havent even thought about like a second conciousness.

I welcome their questions as they make me think and also seek out questions and answers about what lies ahead.

Just this week I’ve sat with my friend and discussed what I am going to do and whether I fully transition. “What happens to your bits, and do you really want a pair of boobs?”

I’ve spoken to my counselor and there is a large number of options available to me on the road ahead. I’ve thought long and hard and I know that I want to be female, although I know I will never truly be, it’s that outwards view that I need to peruse for my own mental stability but I know that no matter what I do I truly can never be female.

The look to me is important and presenting as a female is what I seek.

I know thay I’ve only just started down this road and my doctor has been supportive and I’ve had numerous tests both physically and mentally, and I know there will be many more.

Untimately, I’m sure there will be loads more questions from medical professionals and my friends but until I reach those points on my life I cannot answer questions I do not yet know, or yet have even thought about.

I have many friends who are at certain points on the same road less travelled but their journey is different to mine, some drastically and others similar. Again their experiences being questions and answers but what they explain to me and their experiences are duly noted and help me as I persue my life.

Also their companionship fills my heart with joy, love and friendship which at this stage on my life has been extremely welcome. The trans community have welcomed me with open arms as have the LGBTQ+ people I meet on a daily basis.

The village in Manchester and Leeds have been awesome to me and even when I go out alone or am sat waiting for friends, those in the village make sure I am not alone.

I know I have a lot to think about and the more I think about it the more questions I need answering.

I wish there was a big book of transitioning which was written just for me but until that time I need to write my own story.

Watch this space!

Eastern Bloc Records Cafe, best coffee I’ve had in Manchester

I’m in Manchester again for a meeting this morning and after the meeting I went for a walk round the Northern Quarter to do some street photography and have a spot of lunch with what could possibly be the best coffee i’ve had in Manchester city centre, probably!

This was at Eastern Block Records Cafe on Stevenson Square. I remember going in here at dinnertime when I worked at Ocean Software in the 1990’s and spending many a queen pound on white label 12 inch singles. Many of which I still own.

At the moment the Northern Quarter is mainly pedestrainised due to the Coronabollocks pandemic. So I’m sat outside and having a coffee, a bit of food and a smoke. It’s quite pleasant.

It feels quite surreal though as the city is very quiet, especially when you know how busy Manchester can be.

Anyway, Eastern Block Records Cafe has possibly the best Coffee i’ve had in Manchester and the full English breakfast was pretty darn good as well. Prices are spot on. See linky above for latest pricelist.

Off back into Manchester in a weeks time so maybe a repeat performance is in order. Well thats if Boris the Berk doesnt force the city into another lockdown!

If you haven’t been to the Northern Quarter of Manchester recently I can really recommend you go and have a walk round. The area is alive and kicking and the street art in the northern quarter is bloody amazing. I’ve been about a dozen time in the past few months and am still seeing new artwork all the time.


Pink Hair

I went to Cornwall in the first week of October and before I went I dyed my hair pink. Dont like the dark pink but now its had a few washes I like the light pink colour.

Its Schwar0zkopf Live shocking pink 093

What do you all think?

Botallack Crowns, Mine building at Botallack, Cornwall

Botallack Crowns, Mine building at Botallack, Cornwall

Below are 2 images of the Botallack Crowns Mine at Botallack, near St Just in Cornwall. The first image was taken in October 2020 and the second image, Photography unknown, was taken circa 1860’s and shows the mine in its hayday.

For those that dont know the Botallack Crowns Mine at Botallack are Cornish Tim Mines, the Building on the left housed a pumping engine which removed water from the mine, while the building on the right housed a lifting engine which was used to bring materials and transport men in and out of the mine,

These days the buildings stand on the edge of the cliffs defiant at whatever weather the Celtic Sea can throw at them and on the days I was there in October there were 40-50mph winds and I have been there before when its been to windy to hold a camera to take pictures of waves rising over the higher of the two buildings.

The second image shows all the workings and buildings which were on the site in the mines hayday and shows just how extensive these buildings were. This photo is available at Geevor mine. If you are interested in Tin Mining or mining heritage in Cornwall it is well worth a visit.

Botallack Crowns Mine
Original Photographer unknown

Location Map

Photo date: 1st October 2020

Photography copyright: Mikki Tiamo / Unknown

St Michaels Mount, Marazion, Cornwall

St Michaels Mount, Marazion, Cornwall

I go to Cornwall a lot as its my soul food place and one of the place I like to visit is St Michaels Mount, Marazion.

For those who don’t know, St Michaels Mount is tidal island in Mounts Bay at Marazion, close to Penzance. At low tide a causeway is exposed which allows vehicular and pedestrain access to the island.

The castle on the island is the home of the St Aubyn family who have a long lease of the castle which is now owned and managed by the National Trust.

This photo was taken just before low tide and as such you can see the causeway is still partly covered by water.

If you want to visit St Michaels Mount then at the moment the island is closed sue to Covid restrictions, October 2020, but I am sure it will be open soon.

St Michael Mount, Marazion as seen from the causeway

Location Map

Photo date: 3rd October 2020

Photography copyright: Mikki Tiamo

My crazy follower

I’ve had a crazy follower this past few weeks. Someone I met on a night out and instantly regretted saying “Hiya” too but have struggled to get rid of!

Let me tell you about it.

I was out in Manchester with a few friends on what would have been the Pride 2020 weekend, when this big hairy ass bear comes over and starts chatting to us. I’d already dismissed him as as I’m not interested in hairy men in any shape or form but one of my friends started a long drawn-out conversation with him.

We leave the pub and moved on to another place in the village and this guy decides to invite himself along with us.

Now, at no point have I told him what my name is or have any of my friends, but when we walk in the next venue, because he’s stood behind us and the girls at the venue shout “Hi Mikki” as they have done for about the past six months. I know all the table staff and all the staff know my name. They know my name because its one of the places I go regularly in the village. They also like to sing the song.

“Oh Mikki, you’re so fine
You’re so fine you blow my mind, hey Mikki,
Hey Mikki.”
They even clap!!! but that’s another story.

So, now this guy knows my name, and goes from calling me babes, to Mikki!

Ok fine, so you know my first name and by this time we are getting a bit concerned apart from one of my friends who really fancies him because that’s the type of man she goes for, big hairy ass bears! <puke>

Because he’s had attention off her he invites himself on the rest of our night out, something that annoyed me and Denise immensely.

Eventually though, I think he took the hint that he wasn’t wanted and made an excuse and left. But not before Claire had friended him on Facebook!!!

Within 20 minutes all my friends have had friend requests off him!

I didn’t even respond and I blocked him. The guy was creepy and I didn’t like him.

However, that wasn’t the end. He sought me out on the internet and messaged to find a few of us on Instagram. Blocked him on there as well.

Next is Twitter, no direct message. Just mention after mention. In total nearly 100, quite rude and quite descriptive of what he’d like to do to me.

Reported to Twitter and he had his account suspended. All he did was set up another account and it started again.

I suspended my account.

After discussing this with my friends I found out the same thing has happened to all of us!

Not to be dissuaded he’s obvously done a Google Search and found my name on one of a company website that I’m the director of. So, then I started getting lots of emails off him.

Same sort of thing what he’d like to do to me. I would put them on here but some of them are quite vivid and descriptive! Plus the police told me not to!

As I run the email server I was able to block the email address but yet again he just set up another email address and started sending me emails from that one. None of these were threatening but they are very rude about what he wanted to do to me.

In the end we’ve had to get the police involved and even then the messages didn’t stop they just became more vociferous and nasty.

After getting the police involved again the messages have stopped but only after we all received a number of apologies.

Even a few months later I’m still quite shocked that this has happened but it won’t put me off being friendly to people but these days I might be more wary especially round men!

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