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I don’t want to feel like this anymore, I hate it! I hate the way that my brain is making me feel things. Events in my life. Events in the past. I just want the pain to stop. Not go away I actually want it to stop! People tell me I’m not a bad person …

I’ve been asked by a few subscribers why did I stop my coronavirus diaries? Well a number of things in my life imploded all at the same time and as well as having a massive emotional breakdown I had a bit of a mental one as well. Let me explain what happened. At the start …

Woke this morning with constant pain in my neck again. I need to crack my neck! Coronadiary self isolation, whatever, day bloody 15. It was a shitty one. Was up with the larks and out the door first thing over to Monks Heath. Nobody there as I’m there to get a VPN/ remote desktop working …

Really struggling at the moment with my mental health and yesterday I was very shouty towards my housemate for which I’ve apologised but this lockdown is freaking me the fuck out on a whole new level. As the owner of a small business I’m fucked, not metaphorically, actually. The UK government has offered no support …

Up with the larks today as have to go to work. Well that’s not strictly true, I could stay at home and go broke instead! Lovely though, walking round the village at 7:30. I passed no one in the hour I was out this morning and saw no one driving either. Breakfast and off to …

Awake at 2:33, can’t sleep. Nothing in particular but the moon is bright tonight and I’ve sat for over an hour watching it from my bed. Finally about 4 am I went downstairs watched telly for a little while. Don’t know why, but just felt really wired last night and couldn’t sleep. Sleep again but …